The Farsider

June 28, 2018

Bill Mattos, Editor and Publisher <bilmat@comcast.net>
Leroy Pyle, Webmaster <leroypyle@sjpba.net>

 

The Farsider is an independent publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience of
the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or its membership.



RETIRED CAPT. RON UTZ



Badge 1032
Born April 20, 1933
Appointed Sept. 1959
Retired June 1988
Died June 20, 2018


When Larry Otter heard from Don Ewing early last week than Ron Utz had passed away, the retired Capt. got in touch with us. That led to contact with Ron’s sister Pat, who lives at Copco Lake near Montague in Siskiyou County in Northern California, on the border with Oregon. We spoke with her at length about her brother.

She said that Ron broke his arm at his residence in Aromas in northern Monterey County about 2 1/2 months ago. Because Ron’s wife Wilma had serious health issues of her own, Ron’s injury resulted in a stay in a rehab facility that later led to admittance to a hospital where an inoperable tumor was found between a lung and his aorta. Pat and a friend drove down from Copco Lake and took the retired Capt. up to her place where Ron was placed under hospice care.

On Tuesday of last week Ron was transferred to a hospice house in Yreka. He passed away on the following day, June 20th.

In accordance with Ron's wishes, there will will be no funeral or memorial service. An obituary, however, was prepared and appears below. Friends and former coworkers are invited to leave a comment using the link at the bottom.

Ronald Alfred “Ron” Utz


Siskiyou County native, Ronald Alfred “Ron” Utz, passed away at the Madrone Hospice House in Yreka on June 20, 2018. He was 85 years old.

Ron was born in Etna to Carl and Viva Utz on April 20, 1933. After graduating from Etna High School in 1951 Ron attended Oregon State College and majored in forestry. After completing two years, he left college and enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. During his 3 years in the service, Ron was sent to Korea for eleven months, and was discharged as a Sergeant in 1956. Ron entered the Police School at San Jose State, with a minor in Psychology. He met his wife, Wilma Sprinkle, at San Jose State, and the two were married in 1959. Three months later, Ron joined the San Jose Police Department.

Ron was promoted to Sergeant at SJPD, where he and his partner investigated upwards of 150 murders during a 36 month period. As a lieutenant, Ron spent time as the Commander of Homicide, Internal Affairs, Organized Crime, and Vice Units. He also completed three months of training and education at the FBI National Academy, Quantico, Virginia in 1974.

In 1978, Ron was promoted to Captain. The last five years on the department, he was assigned the responsibility of commanding the Operations and Support Services Division. In Records, he was responsible for the supervision of over 100 ladies.

Ron and Wilma spent several years living in apartments in San Jose, before buying their first home in Morgan Hill. They lived there for 3 years. Upon retirement in 1988, the couple moved to Monterey County.

Ron was preceded in death by his parents and a sister, Doris. He is survived by his wife of 59 years, Wilma; his sisters, Patricia Utz and Juel West; a brother, Jerome Utz; nieces and nephews: Linda Short, Sheryl Towne, Caroline Utz, Sandra Langley, Ron West, and Jerry West; and by several great-nieces and nephews, one great-great-niece; and also by his caregiver and dear friend, Patricia Grieb.

It was Ron’s request that no services are to be held. Girdner Funeral Chapel is assisting the family, and online condolences may be made at
<www.girdnerfuneralchapel.com>.

Following is a sampling of the many comments and messages that we received via email and were posted on Facebook about Ron’s passing:

I worked for Ron in the Intel Unit, along with Ron Tannehill, Mike Miceli, Ron Bondi and Bob Hollars.  He was truly a quality person. His own history was very interesting in that he was born and raised in a very small town in Northern California, that I'm sure 99 9/10% of the world has never heard of.  Ron went on to join the U.S. Marines, then when his hitch was up, he enrolled in and graduated from the Police School at San Jose State. I believe that his good buddy and fellow Marine was Dalton Rolen. Ron will be truly missed. —David Byers

He was always a professional and good old-school cop. May he RIP. —Lynne Caro

Ron was a very great person. We were neighbors until he retired. Then he would still come back to Morgan Hill to shop and visit. RIP. —Jeff Dooley

I worked for Ron Utz in the Intelligence Unit for about seven years. His intellect, integrity and his personal style were all amazing. In “Police Work," we have always heard the term, “Command Presence," which few have possessed, and all in a position of authority strive to achieve. It came naturally and unforced for Ron. He was the strong, silent type, but when it was time to speak, he spoke with a clear mind and with decisive authority. I remember when Tannehill, Miceli, myself and others presented him with our explanation of reasons for the necessity (in our minds) to take action; he quietly listened to all of our evidence, and more often than not, responded with the affirmative response of “ABSOLUTELY." He was one of many great leaders and peers of the SJPD who I had the “ABSOLUTE” pleasure to work with, or for. God Bless Ron Utz and his family. —Peter Guerin, #1259

Very sad day. A true professional and credit to the PD. —Tom Brewer

I learned a lot from this guy. He asked me and Beltran to do some new stuff, like decoys in the downtown, and told that if it went sideways, he would take the hit. I never wanted to put him in that spot. Rest in Peace, Boss. —Tim Skalland

Sad, sad news. Ron was truly "one of the great guys.” His sister might not have included info that Ron was provisionally promoted to Deputy Chief of BFO, then reverted back to Captain. Was, and would have been, an excellent permanent Deputy Chief. I followed him into IA in 1977. —Bob Moir

I am sorry to hear this. He was our neighbor when we lived in Aromas. —Jack Baxter

Some Vintage History here: I worked with Ron when we were the two Captains in the Bureau of Investigations (1980-83). Ron should have been made Deputy Chief, however; he failed the D/C Oral/Practical Exam because of a controversial (trick) question. Then on a second try Ron scored high on the exam, but Chief McNamara, did what many of us thought at the time was wrong; he passed over him for another candidate (rule of ten). Rest-In- Peace old Friend. —Ivan Comelli

I worked for the captain when he was commander of the Vice/Intel Unit and again with a grant for a robbery apprehension team. A great cop, leader and a gentleman. RIP Captain, you will be missed, but your legend will live on. —Nick Battaglia

One great SJPD officer. Always cool and calm. Was a pleasure to know him. —Bruce Fair

I worked for him when he was the Acting BFO DC. He was calm and decisive and never played the political games to quash competition or build a following. A true pro. —Phil Beltran

Another very good man gone. RIP, Sir. —Walt Robinson

Captain Ron Utz. An honorable man. An exceptional leader. One of SJPD’s best. You will be missed. You will be remembered. —Richard Arca

You can read more comments by clicking on THIS link that will take you to Ivan Comelli’s “Vintage San Jose Police” Facebook page.

POA NEWS

June 27th

 
On Monday, the SJPOA filed our complaint of official misconduct against IPA Zisser. The media clips for your review are below.
 
Upon being interviewed by the media and told of our complaint, IPA Zisser continued his pattern of not telling the truth. See yesterday's LETTER to the Mayor and City Council that spells out Zisser's latest difficulty in being truthful.
 
We will update you on the POA's initial step in exposing why IPA Zisser should be removed. Thank you to the over 500 POA members who added their names to the first step in ensuring San Jose retains an IPA that puts the community and our department before their own personal ambitions.
 
Paul Kelly, President
 
MERCURY NEWS — San Jose officer union wants police auditor out over maligned report
 
KGO-7 — San Jose police officers want independent auditor removed

NBC BAY AREA — Union Petition Aimed at Getting Independent San Jose Police Auditor Fired
 
SAN JOSE INSIDE — San Jose Police Watchdog Aaron Zisser Denies Union's Claims of Bias in Annual Oversight Report
 
KTVU-2 — SJPD officers call for removal of independent auditor

 

THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF SAN JOSE AND THE SJPD

Man Gets $60K for Wrongful Arrest After Cop’s Testimony Thrown Out

Settlement reached over 2016 drug arrest where officer
had wife translate police dog threat against man living
n van, told partner to turn off his body-worn camera

By Tracey Kaplan and Robert Salonga
Bay Area News Group — June 26, 2018


SAN JOSE — Confronted with a suspect who spoke only Spanish, San Jose police officer Joshua Bates found a fellow cop who could translate remotely, then put his phone on speaker and had the male officer calmly convince the man to let him search his van.

Or so he said.

Even when the public defender pressed him in court for details about the identity of the translator — ultimately asking if it was true the person was a woman named Lilia — he testified repeatedly that he didn’t remember.

It was only after he was given her full name that he admitted the truth: “Oh, that’s my wife.”

Caught lying on the stand and in his police report about his wife’s role and several other critical details regarding the encounter in late 2016, Bates recently resigned from SJPD after three years on the force.

Saying he was “troubled” by the testimony, Superior Court Judge Eric Geffon threw out the drug case in October against former suspect Cosme Grijalva, after the prosecution dismissed the charges. The City Council on Tuesday agreed to settle a civil-rights lawsuit filed by attorney Jaime Leaños on Gijalva’s behalf for $59,900.

In a memo recommending the settlement, City Attorney Rick Doyle gave scant details about the case, noting mostly that officers conducted a warrantless search of Grijalva’s van that led to the dismissal.

Body-camera video recorded by Bates’ partner, Ian Hawkley, who is also named in the suit, shows Bates telling his wife over the phone: “So what you’re going to do is you’re going to tell this person that I know there is methamphetamine in the car — crystal, and you are going to tell him that I’m going to get a dog who’s going to come over and is going to sniff and tear their car apart.”

Asked Tuesday whether Bates could face perjury charges, the Santa Clara County District Attorney’s Office said it had not received a case for prosecutors to review.

But Leaños thinks it would be fitting.

“It was undisputed that the officer was not honest during his testimony,” he said. “Mr. Grijalva was very surprised when he discussed the police reports with the public defender, and saw what was in the reports and what he witnessed were two very different things.”

Police Chief Eddie Garcia said the department appreciates the gravity of the case.

“Those allegations are concerning,” Garcia said. “When allegations of distrust come up, we’ll deal with them.”

Bates initially did not activate his body camera. Department policy requires officers to turn on their cameras during enforcement actions, with few exceptions. Bates admitted under questioning by Public Defender Avi Singh he also tried to get his partner to turn off his camera during the encounter.

Even though Hawkley told him, “Yeah, I’m red. I’ve been red for a while,” referring to the camera being activated, Bates appeared to have forgotten there was a record of the incident until Singh dug it up and confronted him in court.

Leaños said what happened in this case when it comes to body cameras is of grave importance.

“This is why there should be control over the body cameras by somebody other than the officers,” he said. “If (Bates’) partner didn’t have body camera on, nobody would have believed Mr. Grijalva.”

Garcia said “activation of body-worn cameras is something we treat very seriously. I have zero tolerance for non-activation during enforcement stops, and officers’ discretion is extremely limited.”

There is evidence suggesting this might not have been a one-time instance for Bates. According to court documents filed by Singh, the week before Bates’ encounter with Grijalva, he and another officer stopped and arrested a bicyclist on suspicion of alleged marijuana possession. Body-worn camera footage reportedly showed that Bates omitted mentioning a pat-down search in his police report on the incident.

Other video from that case also shows Bates having a conversation with another officer about how to come up with probable cause to make an enforcement stop when there is nothing readily apparent.

Leaños said all of this should prompt an examination of police training, both in the academy and ongoing.

“It makes you wonder where did he learn this from, and why is he doing this,” he said. “The problem with officers engaging in this type of misconduct is it reflects poorly on all officers, including the good ones.”



MAIL CALL



June 27th

Bill,

I thought I'd pitch in about the current chaos on our southern border. To me it's a sign of weakness when we cannot even govern our own borders. Underneath all the dart throwing at Trump are the long standing, even seething, feelings that a lot of people have, that goes something like “We've been waiting decades for you guys (Congress/Senate/President) to fix the situation at the border, and look what you have done. You're the ones who are guilty of crimes against humanity. You're the failures. Now we are so upset that we want to blame anybody and everybody. We are totally and 1000% ticked off!."

Creating Order at the Border is and has always been a three step solution.

1: Seal the border at any cost; it's worth saving our national integrity. In fifty years, today's cost will look small.

2: Regulate the inflow of people through many different types of visa programs; and keep track of same.

3: Best to leave money concerns out of the equation — meaning bottomed-out wages, long hours, no benefits, no visas  —  slave labor jobs. Granted, that might take some doing. Money can be insidious. It might take extra effort, but the markets will adjust to the new conditions — fair wages and working conditions.

My point: Create a fair, equitable and sustainable process, then stick to it. Contain, control, remain vigilant. Compassion and regulation are not mutually exclusive. Do not complicate or confuse. Stop commercial grade smuggling. Stop with the political jawing and name calling. Just do your job. Govern.

Seal the border, regulate the flow, leave money out of the equation. If we can get that far, we can handle the 'undocumented' persons who are already here. First we have to get that far. If we don't, we'll have the same shouting matches for a hundred years. Make no mistake about it; no matter how many darts you've seen thrown, everything you are now seeing and hearing is a distraction from these three long standing solutions — everything. Don't be fooled.

Take care,

Dave Scannell
<silent.eagle46@yahoo.com>


GUN RAFFLE TO BENEFIT THE CHAPLAINCY



THE MOST PROLIFIC FAMILY THE SJPD HAS EVER HAD


As we have mentioned many times in the past, retired Capt. Ivan Comelli has created and maintains a Facebook page titled “Vintage San Jose Police,” the purpose of which is to display anything from SJPD’s past. A few items have popped up in the past couple of weeks we felt were worthy of note.

First of all, the photo below is of San Jose Police Sergeant Michael Guerin at First and Santa Clara streets, circa 1940. The sergeant was the Great Uncle of retired Officer Pete Guerin, and the photo was provided by Mike’s granddaughter, Patty Stuart, who is also Pete’s cousin.


Next was another pic of Sergeant Mike Guerin that is believed to predate the 1940 photo above. Mike is in the driver’s seat of the lead car. The identity of the other police officers in the photo are unknown. This pic was also provided by Patty Stuart.


We now come to a collage of the Guerin police family. It was posted by Pete in response to his cousin's submissions. Pete also included the text below…


Ivan! This is in response to my Cuz Patty Stuart’s photo about her grandfather, Mike Guerin. The attached photo is a collage of our family showing the Guerin family that served on the SJPD from 1903-1995. The dates below the photos reflect their years of service to the SJPD. I don’t usually like to talk about myself, but I am extremely proud of the family service to the SJPD, and that includes my Cuz Patty. She also has lots to be proud of as all of the Guerin/Gates/Stuart/Carr families. I hope I’m not excluding others.

The non-Guerin names in the collage are great uncles by marriage. For example, Captain Tom Short was John Guerin’s brother-in-law. Other family members aside, a “Guerin” served on the SJPD continuously from 1903 to my retirement in 1995. Within that period, SJPD always had a “Guerin” on the Dept., for better or worse.



SHE SHOULD GET THE TEENAGE BOYS AT THE BORDER TO FORGET ABOUT THEIR MISSING PARENTS


If you thought there was chaos at the southern border before, watch what happens when word gets out that Stormy Daniels will be arriving. Every teen-aged boy (well, most anyway) will be storming both sides of the border just to catch a glimpse of her…

Porn Star Stormy Daniels Heading to Border to Help Children

By Joel Pollack — Breitbart — June 21, 2018


Porn star Stormy Daniels announced Thursday afternoon on Twitter that she will be heading to the border to help her lawyer, Michael Avenatti, in his new effort to help migrant children whose parents were arrested after they crossed the U.S. border illegally.

Daniels, who has been on a publicity tour of strip clubs in the Midwest, tweeted that she had been too busy to help sooner, but would be leaving for the border next week:


Daniels has been fêted by the left ever since she emerged as an opponent to President Donald Trump, accusing him of having an adulterous one-night-stand with her in 2006 while his wife, Melania, was pregnant. Daniels signed a non-disclosure agreement in return for $130,000, but is seeking to have the agreement voided by the courts.

Last month, the city of West Hollywood, California, gave Daniels the key to the city — though the mayor who presented her with the award, John Duran, had been forced to settle a $500,000 sexual harassment claim in 2016.

Avenatti has been a ubiquitous presence on cable news over the past few months until recently, when his law firm ran into controversy, and world events pushed his legal crusade against Trump out of the “A block” in daily headlines.

He arrived at the border several days ago and promptly took up the cause of 50 illegal alien mothers who allege that they were separated from their children.

Joel B. Pollak is Senior Editor-at-Large at Breitbart News. He was named to Forward’s 50 “most influential” Jews in 2017. He is the co-author of “How Trump Won: The Inside Story of a Revolution, which is available from Regnery.”

Click HERE then scroll down to review the readers’ comments about this story.



SAY IT ISN’T SO, YOU ‘FORMERLY’ SWEET YOUNG THING…

Actress Heather Locklear Arrested Again For Assaulting Police Officer, EMT

By Sandy Malone — Blues Lives Matter — June 25, 2018

 

Police said Heather Locklear assaulted a police officer and an
EMT who responded to a 911 call from her home on Sunday.


Los Angeles, CA – Actress Heather Locklear has been arrested for assaulting a police officer, again.

Police said Locklear attacked a police officer and an EMT when emergency personnel responded to a 911 call from her home on Sunday evening, TMZ reported.

Officers first responded to a call about another disturbance at the actress’s home at around 6 p.m. on June 24, but left after determining no crime had been committed, according to TMZ.

Law enforcement sources told TMZ that the 56-year-old Locklear assaulted the first responders when police returned to her home in response to another 911 call shortly before midnight.

TMZ reported that sources said Locklear was extremely intoxicated, and that she punched a responding deputy who was trying to intervene between her and her family.

An ambulance was summoned to the residence, but when paramedics arrived and tried to put the television star on a gurney, she kicked an EMT, TMZ reported.

Locklear was transported to the hospital for an examination. She was later released into police custody.

Ventura County Sheriff’s Captain Garo Kuredjian told Variety that the actress had been arrested on two counts of misdemeanor battery — assault of a police officer and assault of an emergency personnel.

Locklear was booked into jail, where she was being held on $20,000 bail. She is schedule for a court appearance on Tuesday, Variety reported.

The actress had been involuntarily committed for a psychiatric evaluation on June 17, after a family member called 911 and reported that Locklear had threatened to kill herself and was trying to find a gun to do the deed, TMZ reported.

Both the Ventura County Sheriff’s Department and the Ventura County Fire Department responded in that incident, and no criminal charges were filed.

This was not the first time that the television star, famous for the series “Melrose Place,” has threatened police officers.

Thousand Oaks Police Captain Dean Cook said Locklear assaulted three officers when police responded to a domestic violence incident at her home in February, FOX News reported.

The actress was arrested on one count of domestic violence and three counts of battery on emergency personnel, FOX News reported.

During that arrest, TMZ reported that Locklear threatened to shoot responding officers if they ever returned to her home.

Law enforcement sources told TMZ that multiple units were dispatched to Locklear’s residence from the sheriff’s department because of her recent history with the agency.

Click HERE to review the readers’ comments about this story



SKIP THIS IF YOU ARE NOT IN YOUR 60s OR 70s — OR IF THIS ALBUM MEANS NOTHING TO YOU

 

Age is Nothing But a Lousy Number

By Nick Hoppe <NickHoppe61@gmail.com>

San Francisco Chronicle Datebook — June 25, 2018



Paul McCartney at age 64, in 2002, with Heather Mills

 

I had a birthday last week. It was no ordinary birthday, nor was it one of those decade birthdays that cause so much angst, like your 40th, 60th or 80th.

This was much worse, at least for any Baby Boomer and fan of the Beatles. (If you’re neither, you might not understand this column.) Yes, I turned 64.

How did that happen? It seems like only yesterday I was singing along with Paul McCartney, wondering how anyone could be that old.

“Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I’m sixty-four.”

I always loved that song, until now. It was a cute melody about old people, and I wasn’t one of them. Now I’m losing my hair and I’ve got a grandchild on my knee, just as Paul predicted. I’m not saying that’s bad, I’m just saying I never thought it would happen.

“I could be handy, mending a fuse, When your lights have gone. You can knit a sweater by the fireside, Sunday mornings go for a ride.”

LEAVE ME ALONE, MC CARTNEY! I DON’T WANT TO GO THERE YET! I’M NOT READY!

My grandparents went for Sunday morning rides. And neither my wife nor I has ever knitted anything in our lives. Despite the hair and grandchildren, the song couldn’t be about me.

“Doing the garden, digging the weeds, Who could ask for more? Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I’m sixty-four?”

More evidence it has nothing to do with me. I don’t do gardening and I don’t dig weeds — it’s not my thing. I’m not even retired. I’ve got a long life ahead of me. GET OFF MY BACK, PAUL!

“Send me a postcard, drop me a line, Stating point of view. Indicate precisely what you mean to say, Yours sincerely, wasting away.”

WASTING AWAY! HOW RUDE CAN YOU GET, YOU FLOPPY-HAIRED JERK?!

Of course, when the “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” album was released in 1967, and “When I’m Sixty-Four” was included, I was only 13. For the next 50 years I thought the song was hilarious. Not anymore.

McCartney’s probably not laughing about it much, either. He wrote the song at the tender age of 16, and then refined it for “Sgt. Pepper,” when it was released. He’s now 76, wishing he was 64.

Or maybe not, because it wasn’t a great year for him. He divorced his second wife, Heather Mills, when he was 64. That line in the song, “Who could ask for more?” probably stung a little bit, considering she walked away with $38.5 million.

It’s actually a lovely song, though, about a couple growing old together. So when I woke up on my 64th birthday last week, I naturally had some questions for my wife.

“Will you still need me, will you still feed me?” I asked, not exactly in tune.

She rolled over, still half-asleep. “I suppose,” she replied. “As long as you don’t sing to me.”

Deal. I popped out of bed and contemplated once again the absurdity of turning 64. It was an age that always seemed so far away, so foreign, so ridiculously old.

But that was 50 years ago. In 1942, when McCartney was born, the average life expectancy for a British male was 63. By 2030, it will be 86. In other words, it’s clearly time to update the title. “When I’m Eighty-Four” has a much nicer ring to it.

I pulled out the lyrics from the internet and, after making sure no one was around, sang the song with the age change. It worked. I suddenly felt 20 years younger.

“Will you still need me, will you still feed me, When I’m eighty-four?”

Now we’re talking, Paul and me, just like the old days. Neither one of us was even close to 84, and if that birthday does ever come around for me, I could envision going for Sunday rides and maybe even doing a little gardening and weed-pulling, assuming I’ve got the strength.

That vision, I fully expect, will last for the next 20 years. Because, if and when I turn 84, I’ll be changing the lyrics again. “Hundred and four” may not be the right cadence for the song, but it’s going to work for me.

 

 



STORIES OF THE WEEK


Life at Happy Acres



Received from Gary Johnson


A lady in a Florida retirement community was sitting on a bench near a gentleman she didn’t know.

“Are you new to Happy Acres?” she asked.

“No, I’ve owned a condo here for 20 years.” he replied.

“That’s interesting,” she said. “I’ve lived here for 15 years, but I’ve never seen you before.”

He replied, “I’ve been in prison for the last 17 years.”

A little stunned, she asked “Well, what was it you had done?”

He replied, “I murdered my wife.”

After a long pause she said “So you’re single?"

• • • • •

 

Science can be fun, read and learn…



From the Archives


* The largest cell in the human body is the female egg, and the smallest is the male sperm.

* It takes the food 5 seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

* One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lbs.).

* The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

* Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

* A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

* There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

* Women blink twice as often as men.

* The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

* Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

* Men that read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs.

• • • • •

 

Getting rid of a bear on the roof…



From the Archives


A man woke up one morning in Alaska and found a bear on his roof, so he looked in the yellow pages and, sure enough, there was an ad for "Bear Removers."
 
He called the number, explained the problem, and the bear remover said he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrived, got out of his van, and grabbed a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a huge, mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asked.

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof,” the said. “Then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab him by his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."
 
He then handed the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What do you want me to do with this?" he asked.
 
"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

 

 

 

THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES

—Reruns excluded—

June 20 — 26


June 20: Tonight, President Trump held a big rally up in Minnesota. It's part of his plan to get as far away from the Mexican border as possible.

President Trump went to Minnesota to hold a rally. At one point even his staff was like, "Let's just push him into Canada and be done with this.”

People are really upset about how Trump's handled immigrant families. In fact, while Trump was visiting Congress this week, someone yelled, "Mr. President, eff you!" But don't worry, Melania quickly apologized.

Trump reversed course today and signed an order to stop separating immigrant kids from their families — and start detaining them together. You know 2018 is rough when people are going, "All right, families getting locked up in cages together! Yeah!”

Since a judge approved AT&T's merger with Time Warner, experts say it could open up the door for other big companies to merge. We took a look at some companies we'd like to see merge, just because of what they could rename themselves. I'll show you what I mean. For example, if Saks Fifth Avenue and Citigroup merged, they'd be "Saks and the Citi." If Myspace and eBay merged, they'd be "my bae." If Chili's and Netflix merged, they'd be "Netflix and Chili's." And finally, if Bonobos and Dunkin' Donuts merged, they'd be "Bo-Dunk-a-Dunk."

Banks are starting to offer services through virtual assistants like Amazon Echo, which backfires when you ask Alexa for your account balance and she just starts laughing.

June 21: Today is the first official day of summer. Right now, everyone’s thinking, “I’m gonna hike! I’m gonna go camping! I’m gonna hit the beach!” While Netflix is like, “Suuure you are.”

Today, first lady Melania Trump made a surprise visit to the U.S.-Mexico border. And this isn't good — she brought her passport and everything she owns.


Melania pressured Donald to stop his family separation policy. She promised that if he did, she’d let him hold her hand for a full three seconds.

The Trump administration says they want to combine the Department of Labor and the Department of Education. Trump said, "We're merging the Departments of Labor and Education to create...the Department of Lubrication."

During the G7 Summit, Trump tossed a Starburst to German leader Angela Merkel and said, “Here, Angela, don’t say I never gave you anything.” Then he realized it was a red one and dove across the table to get it back.

Starbucks just announced that they’re closing 150 stores due to low sales. Meanwhile, the Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble was like, “Shhh — I think they forgot about us.”

June 26: There's a lot of fighting going on right now in Washington, and one Republican congressman said he thinks the U.S. is heading toward another civil war. At first, President Trump was excited because he thought that meant there'll be another "Avengers" movie.

The Supreme Court ruled in favor of President Trump's travel ban 5-4. Or as Trump calls that, unanimous.

In a speech last night, Trump said sometimes you have to toot your own horn because nobody else is going to do it. The last time someone else tooted Trump's horn it cost him $130,000.

A Minor League Baseball team in Pennsylvania is selling a hot dog wrapped in cotton candy topped with Nerds candies. And instead of condiments, every one of those comes with a cry for help.

ESPN’s annual Body Issue comes out this week. While everyone else's body issues will come out after they read it.


June 20: Billy Joel will host the re-election fundraiser for New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo next month, with tickets starting at $5,000. That's ridiculous. If you want to spend $5,000 to see Billy Joel, just pay his bail after a DUI.

According to a new report, legal marijuana sales in Colorado have seen a plateau in growth. Apparently, people are still going to the marijuana stores, but they can't remember why they went in.

New York's State Assembly is considering a new bill that would legalize alcoholic ice cream. "That's great news," said a five-year-old having a rough day. “Just a little something to take the edge off, Ma.”

Authorities in Florida are searching for two men who left an injured alligator at a convenience store. Said the alligator, "No, no, it's cool. They said they'd see me later."

Burger King Russia has apologized for offering a lifetime supply of Whoppers to any Russian woman who could get pregnant with the child of a World Cup player. In related news, no matter what this guy says [picture of Burger King’s “The King” ad mascot], he does not play for Spain.

June 21: President Trump held a campaign rally last night in Minnesota. And long story short, we are now in a trade war with Minnesota.

First lady Melania Trump made a surprise trip to the U.S.-Mexico border today and visited a facility holding migrant children. "I can't imagine what terrible things you've been through," said one of the kids to Melania.


First lady Melania Trump was wearing a jacket today with the words "I Really Don't Care, Do U?" written on the back when she boarded a plane to go visit the border. You know, a lot of people are giving her a hard time about it. But I think it's nice that she had a jacket made to display her wedding vows.

After Melania Trump was spotted wearing the jacket, her spokesperson said, "It's a jacket. There was no hidden message." Hidden? It was literally spelled out. That's like saying, "If you play an Aerosmith song forwards, it contains hidden messages about love in an elevator."

Hundreds of people gathered at LaGuardia airport last night to welcome migrant children who have been separated from their parents at the border. And if you don't think that's a big deal, you've never asked someone to pick you up at LaGuardia.

June 26: The Supreme Court today upheld President Trump's travel ban on seven primarily Muslim nations. Though, I think they should only uphold the ban if Trump can name all seven.

President Trump was in South Carolina to campaign for Gov. Henry McMaster. Incidentally, McMaster is also what Trump calls the manager at the McDonald's he goes to. "Excuse me, could I speak to your McMaster?"

According to The New York Times, former White House press secretary Sean Spicer is developing a talk show. It's called "Late Night With Such Liars."

President Trump today accused Democrats of wanting "unlimited crime." Coincidentally, Unlimited Crime was also the most popular class at Trump University.

After Harley-Davidson announced it would move some of its production outside the U.S., President Trump tweeted today, "A Harley-Davidson should never be built in another country, never." You should talk. Half of your campaign was built in another country [map of Russia].

According to a new study, older people who have sex regularly tend to have better memories, while the people who walked in on them just want to forget.


June 20: Canada has just announced that they will become the second country in the world to legalize marijuana. So while it's been wonderful to be back here in London, I can officially announce that next year we will be taking the show to Toronto.


Here in the United Kingdom, officials are looking at the possibility of legalizing medical marijuana. When asked about it this week, Prime Minister Theresa May said that she had never smoked cannabis in her life. I believe her! You know why? Because she calls it cannabis.

As the World Cup continues, a report just came out that football fans in Russia have been drinking so much that bars and restaurants are completely running out of beer. See, this is what happens when England wins one game.

Russian bars didn't order enough beer. What did they think a bunch a rowdy football fans were going to do? They're like, "Guys, the next round is on me. Sauvignon blanc? Gin and cucumber? I got you."

Speaking of the World Cup, a company has created a pair of women's underwear specially designed for the tournament that vibrate whenever a goal is scored. They're fun during the World Cup, but back home in America, if you're thinking of wearing them while watching basketball, don't. You will pass out.


June 21: Today is National Selfie Say. Finally, a day to take selfies. National Selfie Day, of course, marks the beginning of the high holy days for the Kardashian family, along with the Feast of Saint Botox and Lip-Gloss Hashanah.

Today is also the first official day of summer. The first day of summer, the summer solstice as they call it, is the longest day of the year. Every day since Donald Trump was elected is the longest day of the year.

President Trump is back on the campaign trail. He had a rally-slash-one-man show in Duluth, Minnesota, last night. It's good for him — whenever he's feeling down he gets a bunch of white people together to watch him scream about CNN.


It was an hour-long tirade/hissy fit. He played all the hits. He did “Crooked Hillary,” “MS-13,” “Space Force,” “Lock Her Up.” There was some new material too. He's calling the Russia witch hunt investigation a scam. It's a scam now. He says if the scam gets any bigger they're going to have to start calling it Trump University.

While Trump was busy selling hats, his wife, Melania, went to visit migrant children in McAllen, Texas. Did you see what she was wearing? Now keep in mind, she was on her way to see children who’ve been separated from their parents. This is what she wore on a plane ride there — a jacket that said “I Really Don’t Care, Do U?” Is the president now tweeting onto his wife’s clothes?

The first lady’s getting a lot of flak for the jacket. Her spokeswoman said, “It’s a jacket. There was no hidden message.” Well, no one thought the message was hidden. It’s written in big letters on the back.


June 21: The story of the week has been Trump's pro-baby-snatching agenda, and today it took another weird turn. Because to try to humanize these child detention centers, the administration sent their most high-profile detainee, Melania Trump.

As soon as she got there, the first lady cut right to the big question: “How I can help to these children to reunite them with their families as quickly as possible?” Ma'am, I know how you can help. Unfortunately, it involves speaking to your husband. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

This is what first ladies often do — go to a troubled area, see the children, show that we care. You can’t mess that up. Guess what? I spoke too soon. Today, on her way to show that she cares, Melania wore a jacket that says "I Really Don't Care, Do U?" That's what they settled on? What was her first choice, a jacket that says "Womp, Womp"?

She's forgotten the most important fashion advice: Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take off that jacket.

But the first lady's spokesperson says, "It's a jacket. There was no hidden message." Right, it's definitely not hidden. It's right on the back! And I'm going to guess this is one message she did not steal from Michelle Obama.

How many people would get fired for this at a normal White House? One, five, the entire executive branch? Because in the middle of the worst moral scandal in recent memory — so bad her husband backed down for the first time — people who are supposedly on her side let her get on a plane with a jacket that said, "I Really Don't Care, Do U?" For the record, we do.

June 26: I've got good news, and I've got bad news. The bad news is I lied: There's no good news. But for a minute, you had hope. You're welcome!


You remember that guy in Washington, tried the whole Muslim ban that they said was "not a Muslim ban — a travel ban." Well, today, the Supreme Court fell for it, upholding Trump's ban by a 5-4 vote. Oooh, 5-4 — THIS CLOSE to being able to look our grandchildren in the eye.

This was actually Trump's third travel ban after the previous version explicitly banned people from Muslim-majority countries, and the original draft just read, "Beards are scary!"

Now, I seem to remember Trump saying one or two bad things about Muslims during the campaign. But in his decision, Chief Justice Roberts sets aside Trump's anti-Muslim statements while finding the ban itself falls within the president's authority. Well, sure, if you set aside everything he said, it's legal! That's like a lawyer saying, "My client is innocent, Your Honor, as long as you set aside the bloody knife he was holding while he screamed, 'I love me some murderin'!'"

In fact, the ruling says that statements made during a campaign may not be legally determinative. So, the things he said during the campaign may not be true? Wait, does that mean he's NOT Making America Great? Hold on, is Sen. Rubio "Regular-Sized Marco?"

Of course, almost immediately, Donald Trump crowed via tweet, "Supreme Court upholds Trump travel ban. Wow!" Wow? That's very presidential — much like Lincoln in the Emancipation Proclamation: "All persons held as slaves within the rebellious states are, and henceforward shall be free. Yowza!"

After the decision, Trump got together with members of Congress to celebrate, and he promised to continue his harsh immigration policies, saying, “I will always be defending the sovereignty, the safety, and the security of the American people. That's why I was put here.” Put here? I think you mean “Putin here.”




WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE



Click HERE for what’s new.

 




• • • • •



This clip received from Joe Suske represents one of the best video editing jobs about immigration we have ever seen. Watch how Trump responds to Bill Clinton and Barack Obama’s State of the Union addresses regarding the hot button ISSUE of immigration. (2:28)




• • • • •







Mackenzie Emory, a 21-year-old from Roseville, CA, would make a perfect candidate for any police or sheriff’s department. Or the USMC. Or Special Forces. Or Delta Force. Or a SEAL Team. Or as a professional Government Assassin. YOU GO GIRL. (3:37)




• • • • •



For this week’s nature lesson we turn to the BBC Earth series and this clip titled, “Don’t Mess with a Huge Elephant Seal.” Pay ATTENTION; there will be a quiz after class. (3:42)




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We are willing to wager that not more than a half-dozen of the nearly thousand of you have seen this vintage clip of a young George Carlin appearing on the Jimmy Dean Show. Most people go through a hippie stage and slowly morph into respectable citizens. Carlin, on the other hand, started out as a button-down comedian and wound up as a very funny hippie. RIP, George. (1937-2008)




• • • • •




Sorry, Hank, too little, too late.




Planning to take your grandkid(s) to the state fair, local carnival or even the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk? If so, you would do well to spend a few minutes and watch this clip about SCAMS. (11:36)




• • • • •



If you wonder why space aliens haven’t contacted us, it’s probably because they looked out the window of their UFO, spotted these two brain surgeons and decided there is no intelligent life on this planet worth contacting. Clicking HERE will explain that statement. (0:28)




• • • • •


(Having fun on Facebook)






Mike Thompson would love to visit this place, to which we say, "What red-blooded American male in his 70s wouldn’t?" The clip takes us back to the good old days when cars were near and dear to our collective hearts. Click HERE for your ticket to the Cars of Dreams and enjoy the tour. (9:16)




• • • • •



Stanley Morgan of KRON’s People Behaving Badly series was in San Jose for THIS report about the scooters that have invaded the downtown area. (2:19)




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Listening to this American classic performed by the Danish National Symphony Orchestra might bring forth an image of Clint Eastwood. If you choose to click on THIS link, see if you can spot the hanging man. Should be easy as he makes several appearances. (6:13)




• • • • •







This was one of Eldad’s earlier rescues that dates back to 2011. With help from a young lady named Meg Thayer, they were able to capture a homeless 6-month-old puppy and create a happy FUTURE for the little pooch. (2:58)



~ ~ ~


A year later, an about-to-be mama had been abandoned at a shelter while she was in labor. After she delivered her pups, they had difficulty nursing because mama’s fur was so badly matted. With no medical facilities at the shelter, Hope for Paws took mama and her pups to a medical CLINIC to solve the problem. (4:01)



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It’s June of 2015 and Eldad and Lisa team up to rescue a homeless dog from an underground sewer system. What Lisa is willing to go through on these rescues while Eldad captures them on video is a testament to her love of animals. Watch THIS rescue of Leah. (7:25)



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This is the rescue of Penelope by Eldad and Lisa that was referenced in the video above. The injured Pit Bull ultimately became a buddy of Leah’s as shown toward the end of the ABOVE clip. (3:41)



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For the cat lovers among you, Eldad and Loreta responded to a report of a tiny kitten that was laying in the carpool lane of the Los Angeles freeway. Most cops will criticize them for this rescue, but everything worked out and they did save the kitty’s life. Give a warm MEOW to a very hungry Napoleon. (5:34)




• • • • •

Joe Suske says the Belgian Malinois is definitely one dog you don’t want chasing you in the wild, or anywhere else for that matter. It is NOT your typical police K-9. (3:07)







There’s not much you can say about these failed insurance scammers other than the fact that most of them are good for a LAUGH or two. (2:50)




• • • • •

Care to take a wild guess what the pics below represent? Don’t bother. The only way you would ever know is by clicking HERE. (3:57)








Manny: “How was your drive home?”

Connie: “It was fine. I missed the main exit, but I MANAGED.” (0:22)






This week’s closer is a CBS "On the Road" segment received from Sharon Lansdowne. It’s a short video of a cowboy who captured a bike thief in an unusual way by USING his horse and a rope. (2:50)




• • • • •




C’ya



THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION ROSTER as of 6/28/18

Additions and changes since the last published update (alphabetical by last name):

No Changes

To receive the email address of anyone on the list -- or to receive the roster with all of the email addresses -- send your request to
<bilmat@comcast.net>.



Abram, Fred & Connie
Adams, Gene
Ady, Bruce
Agerbeek, Bob
Agerbeek, Rudy
Aguilar, David
Aguirre, Jim
Albericci, Jerry
Alberts, Dick
Alcantar, Ernie
Alfano, Phil
Alford, Mike
Aligo, Cyndi
Allbright, Bill
Allen, Bob
Allen, Chaplain Bryan
Alvarado, Marie
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
Amaral, Mike
Anders, Alberta
Anderson, Jim
Anderson, Mark
Anderson, Sharon
Anthony, Tom
Antoine, Steve
Antonowicz, Germaine
Appleby, Judy
Arata, Jennifer
Arca, Rich
Archie, Dan
Avery, Rod
Babiarz, Maryanne
Babineau, Dave & Cheryl
Bacigalupi, David
Bailey, Rich
Baker, Beth
Balesano, Bob
Balesteri, Lou
Banner, Ken
Barikmo, Jon
Bariteau, John
Barnes, Steve
Barker, Ken
Barnett, Brad
Baroff, Stan
Barranco, Rich
Barrera, Ray
Bartels, Don
Bartholomew, Dave
Bartoldo, Tom
Basilio, Les
Bastida, Maggie
Bates, Tom
Battaglia, Nick
Battaglia, Will
Baxter, Jack
Bayer, Lance
Bayers, Dennis
Beams, Bob
Beattie, George
Becerra, Manny
Beck, Brian
Beck, Tom
Becknall, Jim
Beckwith, Tony
Beiderman, Margie
Belcher, Steve
Bell, Bob
Bell, Mark
Bell, Mike
Belleci, Ron
Beltran, Phil
Belveal, Chuck
Bence, Martin
Bennert, Brian
Bennett, Joy
Bennett, Mark
Berggren, Heidi
Bergtholdt, Doug
Bernardo, Guy
Bettencourt, Ed
Bevis, Sherry
Biebel, Phil
Bielecki, Mike
Binder, Andrew
Biskup, Shelley
Blackmore, Chuck
Blackstock, Carroll
Blank, Craig
Boales, Tina
Boes, Judith
Boggess, Eileen
Boggess, Mike
Bonetti, Jon
Borbons, Carl
Bosco, Al
Botar, Rick
Bowen, Gordy
Bowman, Mike
Boyd, Pat
Boyles, John
Brahm, Bob
Brandon, Hayward
Bray, Mary Ellen
Brewer, Tom
Brickell, Maryann
Bridgen, Betty Ruth
Bridgen, Dave
Brocato, Dom
Brookins, Dennis
Brooks, Bob
Brown Jr., Bill
Brown, Charlie
Brown, Dennis
Brown, Ernie
Brown, Marilyn
Brown, Ricky
Brown, Terry
Browning, Bob
Brua, Dale
Buckhout, Craig
Bullock, April
Bullock, Dan
Bulygo, Mary
Burke, Karol
Burke, Ryan
Burns, Barbara
Burroughs, (Bronson) Utta
Busch, Dennis
Bye, Bud
Byers, David
Bytheway, Glenn
Caddell, Jim
Cadenasso, Richard
Caldarulo, Wendy
Calderon, Richard
Caldwell, Phyllis
Camara, Bob
Camarena, Raul
Campbell, Jason
Campbell, John
Campbell, Larry
Campos, John
Cannell, Tom
Caragher, Ed
Caraway, Steve
Card, Christine
Cardin, Randy
Cardone, Lloyd
Cardoza, Vic
Carlin, David
Carlsen, Laura
Carlton, Jim
Caro, Bert
Caro, Lynne
Carr Jr., John
Carr, John
Carraher, Don
Carraher, Jim
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Carrillo, John
Carter, Ernie
Cassidy, Kevin
Cates, Dean
Cavallaro, Dave
Cedeno, Rey
Chalmers, JC
Chamness, Hank
Chapel, Ivan
Chavez, Ruben
Chevalier, Brian
Chewey, Bob
Christian, Brian
Christiansen, Bob
Christiansen, Rich
Christie, Kenn
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Clark, Bill
Clark, Kevin
Clayton, Dave
Clear, Jennifer
Clifton, Craig
Clough, Mark
Coates, Marisa
Cobarruviaz, Lou
Coen, Roger
Colombo, Tony
Comelli, Ivan
Como, John
Confer, Rick
Connor, Stephanie
Connors, Kim
Conrad, Mark
Conroy, Mike
Contreras, Dee
Conway, Ed
Cook, John
Cook, Paul
Cooke, Bertie
Coppom, Dave
Cordes, Marilyn
Cornfield, Scott
Cortez, Darrell
Cossey, Neil
Costa, Mike
Cotterall, Doug
Cottrell, Keith
Couser, Rich
Cripe, Rodger
Crowell, Chuck
Culwell, Ken
Cunningham, Stan
D'Arcy, Steve
Dailey, Karen
Daley, Brian
Daly, Ron
Damon, Alan
Damon, Veronica
Daniels, Jim
Daniels, Rodney
Daulton, Rich
Daulton, Zita
Davis, Bud
Davis, Joan
Davis, Mike
Davis, Rob
Day, Jack
Deaton, Caroll
DeBoard, Joe
DeGeorge, Bob
Deitschman, Tracy
DeLaere, Sylvia
Delgado, Dave
DeMers, Buc
Dennis, Sandra
Destro, Mike
Destro, Tony
Devane, Dan
Devane, Joe
Dewey, Rod
Diaz, Mike
DiBari, Dave
DiVittorio, Gerrie
Dishman, Billy
Doherty, Janiece
Dolezal, Dennis
Dominguez, Bob
Dominguez, Frank
Dooley, Jeff
Dorsey, Ed
Dotzler, Jennifer
Dowdle, Mike
Doxie, Tara
DuClair, Jim
Dudding, Bill
Dudley, Bruce
Duey, Dennis
Dumas, Jerry
Dye, Allen
Dwyer, Jason
Dwyer, Pat
Earnshaw, Kathy
Earnshaw, Patrick
Edillo-Brown, Margie
Edwards, Derrek
Edwards, Don
Egan, Mike
Eisenberg, Terry
Ellner, Howard
Ellsworth, Larry
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Erfurth, Bill
Erickson, Scott
Esparza, Dave
Esparza, Fred
Estrabao, Dario
Eubanks, Earl
Evans, Linda
Evans, Michael
Evans, Ron
Ewing, Chris
Ewing, Don
Ewing, Paul
Fagalde, Kevin
Fair, Bruce
Fairhurst, Dick
Fanucchi, Roscoe
Farlow, Paul
Farmer, Jack
Faron, Walt
Farrow, Chuck
Faulstich, Marge
Faulwetter, Stan
Faz, Dennis
Fehr, Mike
Ferdinandsen, Ed
Ferguson, Betty
Ferguson, Ken
Ferla, Al
Fernsworth, Larry
Flauding, Ken
Fleming, Joe
Flores, Phil
Flosi, Ed
Fong, Johnson
Fong, Richard
Fontanilla, Rick
Forbes, Jay
Foster, Rick
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Francois, Paul
Francois, Tom
Frazier, Rich
Freitas, Jordon
Fryslie, Kevin
Furnare, Claud
Gaines, Erin
Galea, Andy
Galios, Chris
Galios, Kathy
Gallagher, Steve
Garcia, Enrique
Garcia, Jose
Garcia, Lisa
Gardner, Paul
Garner, Ralph
Gaumont, Ron
Gay, Brian
Geary, Heide
Geer, Brian
Geiger, Rich
Gergurich, Judy
Giambrone, Jim
Gil-Blanco, Jorge
Giorgianni, Joe
Giuliodibari, Camille
Goings, Mark
Gomes, Rod
Gonzales, Gil
Gonzales, Jesse
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Gonzalez, Frank
Gonzalez, Jorge
Gott, Pat
Graham, George
Grande, Carm
Grant, Bob
Grant, Doug
Grant, Rich
Granum, Jeff
Graves, Pete
Green, Chris
Grigg, Bruce
Griggs, Fran
Grimaldo, Linda
Grimes, Eric
Guarascio, Dan
Guerin, Pete
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Guizar, Ruben
Gummow, Bob
Gummow, Rich
Gutierrez, Hector
Guzman, Dennis
Guzman, Kim
Gwillim, Reese
Habina, Ron
Hafley, Gary
Hahn, Chuck
Hale, Don
Handa, Mitch
Handforth, Terry
Hann, George
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Harpainter, Bob
Harris, Bucky
Harris, Diane
Harris, Don
Haskell, Marty
Hawkes, Ken
Haynes, Sandy
Hazen, Skip
Hedgpeth, Bob
Helder, Ron
Hellman, Marilyn
Hendrickson, Dave
Hendrix, Dave
Hernandez, Irma
Hernandez, Joe
Hernandez, Linda
Hernandez, Rudy
Hernandez, Vic
Herrick, Mike
Herrmann, Erma
Hewison, Jamie
Hewitt, Dave
Hilborn, Art
Hildebrandt, Karen
Hill, Sandra
Hinkle, John
Hippeli, Micki
Hirata, Gary
Hober, Dave
Hober, Margo
Hodgin, Bruce
Hoehn, Charlie
Hogate, Joanne
Hogate, Steve
Hollars, Bob
Holliday, Sandy
Hollingsworth, Larry
Holloway, Sandi
Holser, George
Honda, David
Hong, Bich-nga
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Hoskin, Wendy
Hosmer, Dewey
Howard, Terri
Howell, Jim
Howsmon, (Jr.) Frank
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Hudson, Kim
Hughes, Gary
Hunter, Dick (via daughter Kim Mindling)
Hunter, Jeff
Husa, Sonia
Hyland, Brian
Ibarra, Miguel
Imobersteg, Rob
Inami, Steve & Francine
Ingraham, George
Ireland, Joe
Jackson, Curt
Jacksteit, Ken
Jacobson, Barbara
Janavice, Dean
Jeffers, Jim
Jenkins, Dave
Jensen, Dan
Jensen, Janie
Jewett, Donna
Jepson, Cliff
Jezo, Pat
Johnson, Bob
Johnson, Craig
Johnson, Cynthia
Johnson, Dave
Johnson, Gary
Johnson, Jon
Johnson, Karen
Johnson, Kyle
Johnson, Mardy
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Jones, Russ
Jones, Wayne
Kaminsky, Glenn
Katashima, Annie
Katz, Dan
Keneller, Dave
Kennedy, Scott
Kennedy, Tom
Kensit, John
Killen, Pat
Kimbrel, Tammy
Kinaga, Rose
King, Charlie
Kingsley, Fred
Kirby, Erwin
Kirkendall, Dave
Kischmischian, Gene
Klein, Lou Anna
Kleman, Karl
Knea, Tim
Kneis, Brian
Knopf, Dave
Kong, Ernie
Kosovilka, Bob
Kozlowski, Astrid
Kracht, John
Kregel, John
Kunesh, Cindy
Kurz, Jennifer
Lagergren, Fred
Lanctot, Noel
Laney, Tammy
Lansdowne, Sharon
Lara, Bill
LaRault, Gary
Larsen, Bill
Laverty, Ann
Lax, John
Leak, Felecia
Leavy, Bill
Leavey, Jack
LeGault, Anna
LeGault, Russ
Lem, Noland
Leonard, Gary
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Leong, Ken
Leroy, Jim
Lewis, Lefty
Lewis, Marv
Lewis, Steve
Lind, Eric
Linden, Larry  
Lisius, Jim
Little, Keith            
Livingstone, John
Lobach, Bob
Lockwood, Bob
Lockwood, Joan
Logan, Maureen
Longaker, Mary
Longoria, Noe
Lopez, Candy
Lopez. Dan
Lopez, Ruvi
Lovecchio, Pete
Low, John
Lu, Elba
Luca, Dennis
Lucarotti, Jim
Luna, Gloria
Lundberg, Larry
MacDougall, Joanne
Macias, Steven
Macris, Carly
Macris, Tom
Madison, Gary
Maehler, Mike
Mahan, Rick
Malatesta, Jim
Malcolm, Roger
Mallett, Bill
Malvini, Phil
Mamone, Joe
Marcotte, Steve
Marfia, John
Marfia, Ted
Marin, Julie
Marini, Ed
Marlo, Jack
Marsh, Scott
Martin, Brad
Martin, Lou
Martin, Todd
Martinelli, Ron
Martinez, Rick
Martinez, Victor
Matteoni, Charlotte
Mattos, Bill
Mattos, Paula
Mattocks, Mike
Mayo, Lorraine
Mayo, Toni
Mazzone, Tom
McCaffrey, Mike
McCain, Norm
McCall, George
McCall, Lani
McCarville, John
McCollum, Bob
McCollum, Daniele
McCready, Tom
McCulloch, Al
McCulloch, Scott
McDonald, Joey
McElvy, Mike
McFall, Ron
McFall, Tom
McGuffin, Rich
McGuire, Pat
McIninch, Mark
McKean, Bob
McKenzie, Dennis
McLucas, Mike
McMahon, Jim
McMahon, Ray
McNamara, Laurie
McTeague, Dan
Meheula, Cheryl
Mendez, Deborah
Mendez, Mike
Messier, Tom
Metcalfe, Dave
Metcalfe, Mickey
Miceli, Sharon
Miller, Keith
Miller, Shirley
Miller, Stan
Miller, Toni
Mills, Don
Miranda, Carlos
Mitchell, Carol
Modlin, Dick
Mogilefsky, Art
Moir, Bob
Monahan, Chris
Montano, Wil
Montes, José
Morales, Octavio
Moore, Dewey
Moore, Don
Moore, Jeff
Moore, JoAnn
Moorman, Jim
Morella, Ted
Moreno, Norma
Morgan, Dale
Morin, Jim
Morris, Jack
Morton, Bruce
Mosley, Joe
Mosunic, Taffy
Moudakas, Terry
Moura, Don
Mozley, Ron
Muldrow, Mark "Mo"
Mulholland, Kathy
Mullins, Harry
Mulloy, Dennis
Munks, Jeff
Munoz, Art
Murphy, Bob
Musser, Marilynn
Nagel, Michael
Nagengast, Carol
Nakai, Linda
Nalett, Bob
Namba, Bob
Nascimento, Mike
Nelson, Ed
Ngo, Phan
Nichols, John
Nichols, Mike
Nimitz, Stephanie
Nissila, Judy
Norling, Debbie
North, Dave
North, Jim
Norton, Peter
Norton, Phil
Nunes, John
Nunes, Les
O'Carroll, Diane (Azzarello)
O'Connor, Mike
O'Donnell, Tom
O'Keefe, Jim
Oliver, Pete
Ortega, Dan
Ortiz, Leanard
Otter, Larry
Ouimet, Jeff
Ozuna, George
Pacheco, Russ
Padilla, George
Pagan, Irma
Painchaud, Dave
Palsgrove, Ted
Panighetti, Paul
Papenfuhs, Steve
Paredes, Carlos
Parker, Rand
Parrott, Aubrey
Parsons, Dirk
Parsons, Mike
Pascoe, Brent
Passeau, Chris
Pate, Neal
Paxton, Bob
Payton, George
Pearce, Jim
Pearson, Sam
Pedroza, Frank
Peeler, Eleanor
Pegram, Larry
Pennington, Ron
Percelle, Ralph
Percival, John
Perry (Cervantez), Martha
Peterson, Bob
Phelps, Scott
Phillips, Gene
Piper, Will
Pitts, Ken
Pitts, Phil
Plinski, Leo
Pointer, John
Polanco, Mary
Polmanteer, Jim
Porter, John
Postier, Ken
Postier, Steve
Powers, Bill
Priddy, Loren
Princevalle, Roger
Pringle, Karl
Propst, Anamarie
Pryor, Steve
Punneo, Norm
Purser, Owen
Pyle, Leroy
Quayle, John
Quezada, Louis
Quinn, John
Quint, Karen
Ramirez, Manny
Ramirez, Roland
Ramirez, Victoria
Ramon, Chacha
Raposa, Rick
Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Rasmussen, Charlene
Ratliff, Fran
Raul, Gary
Raye, Bruce
Realyvasquez, Armando
Reed, Nancy
Reek, Rob
Reeves, Curt
Reid, Fred
Reinhardt, Stephanie
Reizner, Dick
Rendler, Will
Rettus, Bev
Retuta, Rene
Reuter, Larry
Reutlinger, Leslie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Reyes, Juan
Reyes, Mo
Rheinhardt, Bob
Rice, Jayme
Rice, Lyle
Richter, Darrel
Riedel, Gunther
Rimple, Randy
Roach, Jim
Roberts, Mike
Robertson, Harry
Robinson, Walt
Robison, Rob
Rodgers, Phil
Rogers, Lorrie
Romano, Bill
Romano, Marie
Rose, John
Ross, Joe
Ross, Mike
Rosso, Ron
Roy, Charlie
Royal, Julie
Ruiloba, Louie
Russell, Russ
Russell, Stan
Russo, Grace
Ruth, Leo
Ryan, Joe
Ryan, Larry
Saito, RIch
Salamida Joe
Salewsky, Bill
Salguero, Desiree
Salvi, Pete
Samsel, Dave
Sandoval, Thomas
Santos, Bill
Sauao, Dennis
Savage, Scott
Savala, john
Sawyer, Craig
Scanlan, Pete
Scannell, Dave
Schembri, Mike
Schenck, Joe
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Schiller, Robert
Schmidt, Chuck
Schmidt, Paul
Schriefer, Randy
Seaman, Scott
Seck, Tom
Sekany, Greg
Seymour, Chuck
Seymour, Jim
Sharps, Betty
Shaver, John
Sheppard, Jeff
Sherman, Gordon
Sherr, Laurie
Shigemasa, Tom
Shuey, Craig
Shuman, John
Sides, Roger
Sills, Eric
Silva, Bill
Silveria, Linda
Silvers, Jim
Simpson, Terry
Sinclair, Bob
Sly, Sandi
Smith, Betty
Smith, BT
Smith, Craig
Smith, Ed
Smith, Jerry
Smith, Karen
Smith, Kerry
Smith, Mike
Smoke, Wil
Sorahan, Dennis
Spangenberg, Hal
Spence, Jim
Spicer, John
Spitze, Randy
Spoulos, Dave
Springer, George
Stauffer, Suzan
Stelzer, Rex
Sterner, Mike
Strickland, John
Sturdivant, Billy
Sugimoto, Rich
Suits, Jim
Summers, Bob
Sumner, Ted
Sun, Jeff
Sun, Wei
Suske, Joe
Swanson, Ray
Tanaka, Ken
Tarricone, Linda
Tate, Bill
Taves, Phil & Paula
Taylor, Joyce
Tenbrink, Bob
Tennant, Ed
Teren-Foster, Aileen
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Thawley, Dave
Thayer, Dean
Theobald, Cynthia
Thomassin, Ron
Thomas, Art
Thompson, Gary
Thompson, Margie
Thompson, Mike
Tibaldi, Ernie
Tibbet, Walt
Tice, Stan
Tietgens, Dick
Tietgens, Don
Tomaino, Jim
Torres, John
Torres, Nestor
Torres, Ralph
Townsend, John
Townsend, Vicki
Tozer, Dave
Trapp, Greg
Trevino, Andy
Trujillo, Ted
Trussler, Christine
Trussler, John
Tush, Lorraine
Tyler, Diana
Unger, Bruce
Unland, Joe
Urban, Diane
Usoz, Steve
Valcazar, Dan
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Vanegas, Anna
Vanek, John
Vasquez, Danny
Rich Vasquez
Vasquez, Ted
Vasta, Joe
Videan, Ed
Videan, Theresa
Vidmar, Mike
Vincent, Bill
Vinson, Jim
Vizzusi, Gilbert
Vizzusi, Mike
Vizzusi, Rich
Vizzusi, Tony
Waggoner, Bill
Wagner, Jim
Wagstaff, Greg
Wahl, John
Walker, Dave
Wall, Chuck
Ward, Jean
Watts, Bob
Way, Vicky
Webster, Ron
Wedlow, Dean
Weesner, Greg
Weir, Tony
Welker, Jessica
Wells, Bill
Wells, Brenda
Wells, Mike
Wendling, Boni
Wendling, Jay
Werkema, Jim
Weston, Tom
Wheatley, Tom
White, Rich
Wicker, Joe
Wiley, Bruce
Williams, Jodi
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Williams, Rick
Williamson, Kathleen
Williamson, Ken
Wilson, Caven
Wilson, Jeff
Wilson, Jerry
Wilson, Lee
Wilson, Neal
Wilson, Stan
Wilson, Tom
Windisch Jr., Steve
Wininger, Steve
Winter, Bill
Wirht, Kim
Witmer, Dave
Wittenberg, Jim
Wolfe, Jeff
Womack, Kenn
Wong, Andrew
Woo, Paul
Wood, Dave
Wood, Jim
Woodington, Brad
Wysuph, Dave
Yarbrough, Bill
Young, Mike
Younis, Tuck
Yuhas, Dick
Yules, Ken
Zalman, Ginny
Zanoni, Mike
Zaragoza, Phil
Zenahlik, Tom
Zimmerman, Eliza
Zwemke, Doug