May 31, 2018
The Farsider is an independent
publication that is not affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its website solely for the convenience of
the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or its membership.
RETIRED OFFICER BOB KASICH
No Photo Available
Appointed May 1967
Retired April 1977
Died Oct. 5, 2017
Bob is another retired officer whose passing fell through the cracks. We were advised of his death by John McCarville (CHP Ret.) who receives the Farsider and noticed that Bob’s name was missing from the Memorial List. John’s email included a link to Bob’s obituary, which read:
1944 - 2017
Robert Kasich died at home on October 5, 2017 surrounded by his family after a heroic battle with cancer. He was born to Ruth and Robert "Babe" Kasich in San Francisco, CA.
He graduated from Carlmont High School and the University of San Francisco.
Bob served as a San Jose Police Officer working in patrol, vice and narcotics and as a training officer before being injured on the job and retiring in 1978.
He taught law enforcement classes at the San Jose Police Academy and at North Idaho College. He worked as a private investigator, opening his own private investigation firm in Coeur d' Alene, Idaho. Upon returning to California, Bob started a successful hearing healthcare business, providing client services for 25 years.
Bob had many interests. He loved cars and motorcycles, and was an avid golfer, fisherman and master woodworker. He studied for several years at the Krenov School of Fine Woodworking in Mendocino with the best craftsman in the world. Above all, Bob was happiest surrounded by his wife and children and with friends fishing on his boat "Braggin Bob.” He was a passionate Bay Area Sports fan and a gregarious storyteller and practical joker.
Bob is survived by his wife of 48 years, Barbara, and children; Kristine (Paul), Kimberly (Sergio) and Kevin (Courtney), grandson, Alex and sister, Sandy. He leaves behind his best friends and siblings-in-law; Murray, Connie, Dennis, and Jane Donoghue as well as his beloved nieces and nephews.
A funeral mass will be held at Saint Joseph's Church, on October 20th at 11:00 a.m. Reception details from family.
Published in the Redding Record Searchlight on Oct. 18, 2017
In the Law Enforcement profession we have all heard the phrase, "You lie, you die," meaning your career most likely will be over if you deliberately lie, mislead or omit essential information from a report or investigation. "You lie, you die."
Apparently, San Jose's inexperienced Independent Police Auditor must not have heard the phrase above or does not care. His deliberately misleading 2017 Annual Report was rejected by the Mayor and City Council late Tuesday for being chock-full of misleading information. And in a brazen slap in the face to the Mayor and City Council, Mr. Zisser admits the report is full of mistakes and is misleading, but when asked to correct it, he refused.
Arrogant, misleading, and unfit. Mr. Zisser's intent was clear; he attempted to drive a wedge between police officers and people of color by overblowing individual instances throughout his report and damning the entire department. His quest for more power holds no bounds.
The SJPOA Board of Directors will be holding an emergency meeting to discuss our next steps to ensure that the individual appointed by the City Council has the integrity necessary to be a fair and impartial Auditor of our department. Unfortunately, Mr. Zisser does not measure up.
Please see these short snippets taken from the City Council meeting. We are appreciative of the entire council for unanimously rejecting Mr. Zisser's report. We are especially appreciative of Mayor Liccardo and his unyielding questioning of Mr. Zisser. We are also appreciative of Councilmember Peralez for calling on Mr. Zisser to own up to his mistakes and fix the report, which he said he would not do.
video speaks for itself. Click HERE
to view it.
The June Membership Meeting next week has been cancelled. We have some priority meetings in Sacramento on legislation issues along with meetings statewide that are related to our local issues. Our Board of Directors will be meeting this month to carry on. Thank you for your understanding. If there are questions you need answered, your Board of Directors and I will be available.
Please keep in mind that the July Membership Meeting will be on Tuesday, July 10th due to the holiday.
Paul Kelly, President
This is the type of story that gives public pensions a black eye...
The Los Angeles Firefighter Who Earned $300,000 In
Overtime By Working More Hours Than There Are In A Year
By Ben Shapiro
The Daily Wire — May 22, 2018
Firefighter Donn Thompson of Los Angeles earned some $300,000 in overtime in 2017, aside from his $92,000 salary. If that sounds like a lot of money in overtime, it is. In fact, as Transparent California reports, Thompson has pulled down $1 million in overtime since 2013. Eric Boehm of Reason.com explains:
“Here's how the math breaks down. Thompson, like all firefighters in Los Angeles, works 2,912 hours every year. With a base salary of $92,000, that comes to an hourly rate of $31.60. That means Thompson would earn overtime pay at a rate of $47.40 per hour—that's one and a half times the base rate. But earning $302,000 at a rate of $47.40 per hour would require working more than 6,370 hours. Add that to the 2,912 hours he worked as a salaried employee, and you get more than 9,280 hours worked, despite the fact that there are only 8,760 hours in a year.”
Thompson has a long history of working the system. From 1993 to 1995, Thompson made well over $200,000 in overtime; in 2008, he grabbed another $173,335 in overtime.
California excluded overtime from pension calculations only in 2012; that means that Thompson’s retirement pay will still be based on his overtime. As the Los Angeles Times reported in 2014:
“A legal way to increase pensions by boosting the final pay of retiring state and local government workers could drive up public employee pension costs in California by as much as $796 million over the next 20 years, the state controller said Tuesday. Two years ago the Legislature and governor overhauled public pension benefits for newly hired workers, but many critics called the legislation too little and too late.”
Public employee unions have been bankrupting localities across the country. California’s unfunded pension liabilities are staggering:
“CalPERS has unfunded liabilities — benefits promised compared with anticipated funding — of $136 billion, Nation says. For CalSTRS, the projected red ink is $87 billion. That's based on 2016 data, the latest available. If you total up the unfunded liabilities of all state and local public pension systems in California, the projected debt comes to around $333 billion, Nation says. But that's a conservative figure based on official reports. It could be up over $1 trillion.”
That’s nearly $26,000 per household in the state.
This is what happens when a state is governed by unions, as California is: California unions elect public officials, who then sign rich contracts with the unions, who then elect public officials. The cycle creates debt and serious safety problems as well — if public employee unions strike, that’s a disaster area. We can love our firefighters, but these deals are destroying localities.
Saw this in the morning news and thought it was worth sending on to you. Some take aways;
• Using the Mexico model, would shutting down ALL stores that sell guns and ammunition reduce gun violence here in the US, or would we be like Mexico where people are killed by the thousands with guns each year?
• Mexico has a "right to bear arms" which is heavily regulated to the point that Mexican citizens' right to bear arms no longer exists.
I found the readers comments to be quite interesting. More gun laws are NOT the answer to our problems. We need to look deeper for a solution.
It appears that in this case, more restrictive gun laws create a perfect storm for increased violence on those that cannot defend themselves.
Dave Walker <email@example.com>
There is only one gun store in all of
Mexico. So why is gun violence soaring?
Click HERE if you are interested in the story.
• • • • •
Bill and Leroy,
I still have SJPD badge #395 and wondering who may be interested in it? I am also wondering how I might obtain badge #1285, which I overlooked in taking with me when I went to the Airport. Anyone you might hook me up with would be appreciated.
Looking forward to the Thursday edition.
Mark Anderson, #1285 <firstname.lastname@example.org>
• • • • •
Thanks for the come back last week when you replied, "All you did was state the obvious"; I appreciate your words. Sometimes I find that the obvious needs to be emphasized. Because it is so obvious, it often times tends to get overlooked. The obvious you mentioned was meant to evoke some type of emotional response for the mass shootings. Glad you responded.
Oh, how we all get so misunderstood at times! I was finding the clinical approach too dry. I did not want to dismiss the anxieties of the victims by writing something like you so aptly wrote: “They are going to have to deal with school shootings…”
I can respect that truth and honor the differences. A lot of people will have to deal with it. I guess if people were not being gunned down en masse so frequently the uproar would subside, and all would be good in paradise. Unfortunately that's not the case. Last time I checked, we were a free country. We are not completely paralyzed. We still have the right to govern ourselves, and act within the constitutional boundaries.
An easy example: look what has happened with the 21st Amendment. Without going into the history of drunk driving and blood alcohol levels, look what's happened over the years. The standard for decades was 0.15%; somewhere in the late seventies that got down to 0.10%; all the way to today's .08%. We can't get all the road drunks, but we can narrow things down.
You wrote, ”There is absolutely nothing government or any other entity can do do to stop them.” My point is simple — small steps for a long time can produce good results without anybody's rights being lost. Understand; NOT solve all the complexities of human nature, but just produce a good in small steps, like that.
Dave (Scannell) <email@example.com>
JOHN KREGEL AND BRANDY
Jim Silvers and his dog Brandy had another visit with longtime stroke victim John Kregel last Thursday, May 24th. Jim reports that there hasn’t been much of a change verbally, and that he did all the talking. John is, however, aware. When Jim asked if he wanted to hold Brandy’s leash, John nodded that he did. He also seemed to be able to acknowledge questions that can be answered with a yes or no. “The last time I visited,” said Jim, “I asked if he could repeat the word Brandy, and he did.”
"Gotta be tough,” Jim said. “I feel so sorry for him.”
John is residing in a residential facility in Pleasanton. An email to Jim will get you the address and further details should you want to drop in and say hi. We're sure John would appreciate it even with his limited ability to communicate. Jim's email address is <firstname.lastname@example.org>.
AN EXCELLENT TIME TO VISIT THE AMERICAN CEMETERY AT NORMANDY
When we received this pic from Kerry Smith, we asked him for a paragraph that would give context to the photo. He responded with the following…
Kerry Smith, Buc DeMers, B.T. Smith and Don DeMers
The destination of the trip was Normandy but the DeMers boys first went to Northern England to do some Genealogical research. BT and I stayed in London where BT knew a member of the House of Lords who got us an insiders’ tour of Parliament. We then got to sit in the House of Lords and listen to discussions about a bill to make newspapers pay any legal fees regardless of the verdicts. The four of us joined up a couple of days later and took the Eurostar train through the Chunnel to Bayeax. France. From Bayeax we took a private tour of several of the invasion beaches that included German gun implacements and museums. We ended up at the American Cemetery in Normandy where 9,387 American Servicemen are buried. It is overseen by a small US Government agency called the American Battle Monuments Commission. France handed over this land and it is officially considered American soil. We ended our visit by staying for the evening playing of TAPS.
Kerry Smith <email@example.com>
GUN RAFFLE TO BENEFIT THE CHAPLAINCY
KKC BBQ FLYER
HEADED FOR THE BLACK HILLS THIS SUMMER?
Click HERE to go to the website
The 78th Sturgis Motorcycle Rally in August is a huge event for the Black Hills of South Dakota. I think some members of our SJPD Family are “motorcycle enthusiasts.” Several Rapid City PD officers enjoy riding.
The Drug Task Force is very involved in intelligence gathering of outlaw motorcycle clubs. I was the admin at DTF and enjoyed assisting in creating the first Outlaw Motorcycle Club Report, which continues to this day.
If any of you plan on vacationing in the Black Hills please contact me.
Marie Romano <firstname.lastname@example.org>
THE LONG AND SHORT OF THIS IS UNPLUG YOUR ROUTER, THEN PLUG IT BACK IN
This headline from Popular Mechanics tells you what you need to do, as in now…
FBI to America: Reboot Your Routers, Right Now
—There's a sneaky bit of malware going around—
By Joe Pappalardo
Popular Mechanics — May 25, 2018
The FBI has issued a dire warning to everyone who has a router in their home. The Internet Crime Complaint Center sent a rare Public Service Announcement declaring: "Foreign cyber actors have compromised hundreds of thousands of home and office routers and other networked devices worldwide."
The hackers are using VPNFilter malware to target small office and home office routers, the FBI said. "VPNFilter is able to render small office and home office routers inoperable," the FBI warns. "The malware can potentially also collect information passing through the router. Detection and analysis of the malware’s network activity is complicated by its use of encryption."
The feds recommends "any owner of small office and home office routers reboot the devices to temporarily disrupt the malware and aid the potential identification of infected devices." They also advise to consider disabling remote management settings on devices, use encryption, upgrade firmware and choose new and different passwords, which is pretty much best practice anyway.
The IC3, formerly known as the Internet Fraud Complaint Center was renamed in October 2003 to include this kind of attack. Their stated mission "is to provide the public with a reliable and convenient reporting mechanism to submit information to the Federal Bureau of Investigation concerning suspected Internet-facilitated criminal activity and to develop effective alliances with law enforcement and industry partners."
Today, that means telling you to reboot your router, so hop to it.
LEFT WING BILLIONAIRE TARGETING NORTHERN CALIFORNIA D.A. RACES
George Soros Spending Big in DA Races
—Strategy backs challengers who seek reform over law-and-order incumbents—
By David DeBolt <email@example.com>
Mercury News — May 29, 2018
Top cops duking it out with progressive district attorney candidates in the June primary are facing another opponent: the deep pockets of George Soros.
Liberal billionaire George Soros is backing criminal
justice reform candidates in California races.
The liberal New York billionaire and progressive organizations are throwing big money to challengers in Alameda, Sacramento and San Diego counties, according to campaign finance records.
District attorney races typically have favored law-and-order incumbents with support from local law enforcement and, in some cases, because they faced no legitimate opponent. But the millions spent leading up to the June 5 election is giving a voice to candidates who want to reduce incarceration, end the death penalty and crack down on police misconduct.
“There’s definitely a change at work,” said Robert Weisberg, co-director of the Stanford Criminal Justice Center. “The mere fact that there’s any kind of legitimate person running suddenly gets people to think: ‘For the first time, I actually get to vote for the DA.’ ” The new political strategy in California is backed by the California Justice & Public Safety PAC, which is funded by Soros; Real Justice, a political action committee that includes the wife of Facebook co-founder Dustin Moskovitz; and civil rights leader and writer Shaun King, who has offered endorsements and speeches.
In Contra Costa County, a political action committee tied to Soros has given more than $100,000 to a committee supporting appointed District Attorney Diana Becton, drawing criticism from the campaign of her opponent, career prosecutor Paul Graves.
Contra Costa County District Attorney Diana Becton
has received more than $100,000 in support from a
political action committee tied to George Soros.
In Alameda County, the Soros-backed California Justice & Public Safety PAC as of Thursday had spent more than $550,000 in support of Pamela Price, a longtime civil rights attorney attempting to unseat District Attorney Nancy O’Malley. Money has gone toward digital advertising and campaign mailers, according to campaign finance records.
Attorney Pamela Price has received $550,000 in support
from a George Soros-backed group to unseat District
Attorney Nancy O’Malley in Alameda County.
For O’Malley, the hand-picked successor of Tom Orloff after he unexpectedly retired in 2009, it’s her first true test. Price has criticized O’Malley for not being tough on police misconduct and called out her campaign for accepting $10,000 from the Fremont police union while her office investigated officers of that department involved in two fatal shootings.
One recent police mailer paid for by the Soros-backed political action committee attacked O’Malley for not investigating Oakland police involved in the Herman Jaramillo case. In 2013, the sister of 51-year-old Jaramillo called police and said she believed an intruder was in their home. When officers arrived, they found Jaramillo, who was cuffed after allegedly resisting them and died during a struggle.
“An innocent man was killed by police. And Nancy O’Malley never investigated,” the flyer reads.
Price, meanwhile, has drawn criticism for saying she would not prosecute DUIs, domestic abuse and other misdemeanor offenses, though she recently walked back those statements. Price, a longtime civil rights attorney who spent 15 months as a defense attorney, told this news organization last month she “never wanted to be a prosecutor” and “I don’t think that’s what the people of Alameda County are looking for.” She did not return a call for comment.
Tom Clifford, an O’Malley campaign consultant, said the out-of-state support and attacks are surprising. Clifford said the district attorney supports liberal and progressive causes and has endorsements from two key Democrats, Gov. Jerry Brown and U.S. Sen. Kamala Harris. “I think Alameda County voters should decide for themselves based on experience and based on track record,” Clifford said. “Nancy’s experience and track record are unparalleled.”
Political observers say this recent phenomenon can be traced to the Black Lives Matter movement and the 2017 election victory of defense attorney Larry Krasner as district attorney of Philadelphia. Krasner, who received nearly $2 million from Soros, ousted 31 prosecutors once he took office. On Thursday, Krasner hosted a campaign fund-raising breakfast for Price in downtown Oakland.
“With all the violence that’s happening involving police officers, it’s clear the public is frustrated by the lack of accountability,” said Taina Vargas-Edmond, an organizer with Oakland-based Initiate Justice. “District attorneys have been identified as a core piece of this puzzle” to reform the criminal justice system.
Elsewhere, Soros has spent about $400,000 on deputy prosecutor Noah Phillips, who is challenging Sacramento County District Attorney Anne Marie Schubert. The wave of reform candidates also has hit San Diego, where Public Defender Genevieve Jones-Wright is challenging interim District Attorney Summer Stephan.
Conservative Kent Scheidegger, legal director of the Criminal Justice Legal Foundation, questioned the large donations.
“Soros is definitely trying to push a political view,” he said. “As far as the candidates themselves go, it’s not unusual to find somebody who wants to move up to a higher office. Whether they are suited for the office is another question.”
RELATIVELY PEACEFUL IN THE WINDY CITY OVER THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND
Only 38 People Shot On Memorial Day Weekend In Chicago — Just 9 Dead
By Andrew Blake
Blue Lives Matter — May 29, 2018
A teenage boy and a young mother were amongst the 38
victims of gun violence in Chicago over Memorial Day Weekend.
Chicago – Nine people were killed and 29 others were wounded in shootings in Chicago over the Memorial Day weekend, according to WLS-TV.
During a press conference on Tuesday morning, Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson said “the number of shootings was significantly down from 2016, as well as 2017.”
In 2017, there were seven people killed and 45 people injured in shootings over the Memorial Day weekend. In 2016, eight people were killed and 57 people were wounded over the three-day holiday span, according to WLS.
“We did see some reduction in the holiday violence in comparison to last year. I’m not happy with it of course, I won’t be happy til we have zero murders and zero shootings,” the superintendent said. “But there was some progress made, and I am happy about that. But it just goes to underscore that there’s still a lot more work to be done.”
He told reporters there were 15 arrests in the city over the weekend and that three of them involved gun charges.
Click HERE to get your Chicago Gun Free War Zone Shirt
The 38 people were
wounded or killed between midnight on Friday and continued through Monday at
11:59 p.m., according to WLS.
"It's probably been on par for what we've experienced in the last few years, a little up here and little down here," Chief Fred Waller told WLS. "But I've been very impressed and very proud of the officers and their hard work."
A 15-year-old boy was among those wounded over the holiday weekend, according to WLS.
Police said the boy was shot in his back and hips just after 11 p.m. on Sunday night as he was walking towards a car.
Witnesses told police a mini-van pulled up and someone inside shouted a gang-related slogan, and then fired a gun, striking the boy. Police have not yet made any arrests in that incident, WLS reported.
In a separate incident, a young mother was shot and killed by a stray bullet at 1:03 a.m. on Saturday, while sitting on her front doorstep celebrating her two-year-old’s birthday, according to WLS.
Thirty-one year old Jeremy Ross was the first fatal shooting of the holiday weekend.
Ross got out of his car and began to argue with another person near an exit ramp. That person pulled out a gun and shot Ross twice in the chest and once in the head, according to the police.
He was pronounced dead at the scene, according to WLS.
USA Today reported that Chicago has had 191 murders in 2018 as of May 28.
Click HERE then scroll down to review the readers comments about this story
TOO SOON? YA THINK?
'Active shooter' video game prompts outrage in wake of mass shootings
By Christopher Carbone and Paulina Dedaj
Fox News — May 26, 2018
"Active Shooter," a video game that allows players to simulate a school shooting, prompted outrage in the wake of multiple mass shootings at American schools.
The game is set to be released on June 6 and will be available on Steam, a digital distribution platform developed by Valve. Players are given the option to either be a SWAT team member or the shooter while simulating a shooting in a school environment.
“Pick your role, gear up and fight or destroy!” the game description on the website says.
“Only in ‘Active Shooter’, you will be able to pick the role of an Elite S.W.A.T team member or the actual shooter,” the website reads. “Depending on the role, your objective might be to protect and extract or hunt and destroy.”
The developer, on the game’s Steam page, says “please do not take any of this seriously,” but that is unlikely to mollify critics.
A makeshift memorial left in memory of the victims
killed in a shooting at Santa Fe High School, is
pictured in downtown Santa Fe, Texas, May 24, 2018.
Players are given “game stats” where they can see how many civilians and police officers were killed.
The game has been criticized as it arrives shortly after 17-year-old Dimitrios Pagourtzis entered Santa Fe High School in Texas, killing 10 and wounding 10 others.
Infer Trust, an anti-gun violence organization, told the BBC the game is “in very bad taste” given the fact that there have been 22 school shootings in the U.S. since the beginning of this year.
“It is horrendous. Why would anybody think it’s a good idea to market something violent like that, and be completely insensitive to the deaths of so many children? We’re appalled that the game is being marketed,” the spokesperson said.
Following the shooting in Santa Fe, Texas, Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick has blamed the makers of violent video games and films for promoting a “violent culture where we’ve devalued life.”
Patrick said in a Texas Tribune report that a state-funded incentive program meant to lure film, television and video game creators to Texas should not allow certain projects, or he might have to withdraw his support for the initiative.
Steam said in a statement on its site that the game “does not promote any sort of violence, especially any sort of a mass shooting,” referring back to the phrase “dynamic SWAT simulator.”
But considering such a “high amount of critics and hate,” the developer will “likely remove the shooter's role.” However, this does not change the school setting.
Valve did not immediately return a Fox News request for comment.
Click HERE then scroll down to review the readers’ comments about this story,
STORIES OF THE WEEK
Shopping for the best deal…
Received from Ken Hawkes
A retired older couple returned to a Corvette dealership where the salesman had just sold the car they had been interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.
The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply, "Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $85,000 asking price. Yet I just overheard you closed the deal for$72,000 to the lovely young lady over there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this top-of-the-line model."
The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water. "Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price. See you later Dad, Happy Father's day."
Once again, don't mess with seniors.
• • • • •
Received from Tom McCready
An Angel visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into Heaven. The woman said she would try her best.
The Angel visited the woman a week later to see how she was getting on.
"Not bad" said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking, but when I bent over to look in the freezer the other day and my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs in high heels, he pulled up my skirt and made love to me right then and there."
"They don't like that in Heaven,” said the Angel.
"They're not crazy about it at Costco either!" said the woman.
• • • • •
that would make all men grimace…
From the Archives
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."
You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.
She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children, and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.
She continued, "Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with relief.
When the pastor tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say, a man walked to the podium and said, "I'm Jim, and I want to make it clear that my wife meant to use the word sternum."
• • • • •
Story of Ahmal and Juan
From the Archives
A woman had twins and gave them up for adoption. One went to a family in Egypt and was named "Ahmal." The other twin wound up in Spain and the parents named him "Juan." Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the photo, she told her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband replied, "What's the point, they're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
• • • • •
know fact about Mahatma Gandhi
From the Archives
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced a serious set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. And with his odd diet, he suffered from chronic bad breath. This made him (oh, this is so bad it's good!) a “super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.”
THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES
May 24: Froot Loops cereal has added a new flavor, Wild Berry. People who tried the new flavor say it tastes like “wild berries, plus sugar, minus wild berries."
President Trump informed Kim Jong Un that he was canceling their summit by sending Kim a personal letter. The disturbing part is Trump signed the letter, "Yours in Crazy."
President Trump canceled his summit with Kim Jong Un, saying it’s because of Kim’s "open hostility." Trump said, "I will not tolerate hostility from a fat-faced little Rocket Man."
Doctors are now warning about the spread of something they are calling "super gonorrhea." It’s hard to believe that now the cool thing to say to a woman in a bar is, “It’s OK, I only have regular gonorrhea."
A new report says that the U.S. military is running out of bombs. As of now, the Pentagon is down to 100 bunker busters and six copies of "The Emoji Movie."
May 24: As you probably know, the president canceled his June 12th meeting with Kim Jong Un today. Only Donald Trump could cancel a summit with Kim Jong Un in the morning and then have a meeting with Sylvester Stallone later in the day. Soak it up, we'll probably never see anything like this again.
After North Korea indicated that the talks may be off, Trump announced the talks are off. It was the nuclear nonproliferation equivalent of, “You break up with me? I break up with YOU!”
And on top of that, when Trump posted the “Dear Jong” letter he sent today, you could see he misspelled the Dear Leader's name. He wrote, “Sadly I was forced to cancel the summit meeting in Singapore with Kim Jung Un.” With a U instead of O. Like if Kim Jong Un called him President Tromp.
This was some letter by the way. Not exactly what you would call Lincoln-esque. This, to me, was the most interesting part: Trump wrote, “You talk about nuclear capabilities but ours are so massive and powerful that I pray to God they will never have to be used.” And then he goes right into, “I felt a wonderful dialogue was building up between you and me.” See, that's Trump diplomacy in a nutshell: I look forward to our friendship, but if not, I will kill you.
He did leave the door open at the end of the note: “If you change your mind having to do with this most important summit, please do not hesitate to call me or write.” Feels kind of like we're at the part of movie where the couple breaks up, but then they realize they can't live without each other, and one of them has to run through the airport to stop the other one from getting on a flight.
Meanwhile, South Korea, who really has the most to lose in all of this, was reportedly caught totally off guard. No one gave them a heads up. They had to call an emergency meeting and they released a statement. They wrote, “We are trying to figure out what President Trump's intention is and what its exact meaning is.” Well, welcome to the club. Because we are too. That's every day.
Now, on the off chance the president doesn't win the Nobel Prize for peace, part of the blame has to go to Mike Pence. Because Pence did some ad-libbing on Fox News the other night. Poor Mike Pence. His whole entire job was to help Trump get elected just by being a calm-looking white man who quoted the Bible and quietly disapproved of gays. And for a long time that's all he did, but eventually he had to start talking.
So he went on Fox News, which is supposed to be home court for these guys. I mean, Sean Hannity is Donald Trump's emergency contact number in case he ever chokes on a ham bone or anything like that.
So Pence goes on Fox. When he does, he compares the situation in North Korea to Libya. Which is probably the worst possible example he could use, seeing as how the leader of Libya, Moammar Gadhafi, after he gave up his nuclear weapons, was chased into a drainage pipe, dragged through the streets, and killed by rebels. Which is maybe not the way Kim Jong Un wants to go out.
And of course it made the people who work for him furious, because Kim Jong Un would kill his grandma for overpickling the kimchi. And so now the talks are off.
We also have to figure out what to do with the Korean summit commemorative coins Trump's people had made up. Maybe they can become the official currency of the apocalypse?
You'd think this would be a source of embarrassment in the Trump White House but turns out they have no such thing. In fact, this is true, the White House gift shop this afternoon offered a similar coin as their deal of the day — a “President Trump Korea Singapore summit coin, black velvet case, regular price $24.95, now only $19.95.” When people found out about it, it crashed the White House gift shop website, which I'm sure the president will brag about.
There were two closed-door briefings for members of Congress to go over classified information related to the “spygate” scandal that Trump cooked up. This briefing was originally supposed to be held for Republicans only. Which is insane. It was so insane, in fact, even the White House agreed it didn't look good. So they changed course and hosted a second meeting that Democrats were invited to. Like when your mom forces you to invite the whole class to your birthday party. You don't want to, but you do.
White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders, in an interview with the “failing New York Times,” said being called a liar bothers her. Which, I don't know. I know this might sound crazy, but — have you considered maybe not lying all the time?
By the way, North Korea is not the only country mad at us right now. The Supreme Leader of Iran, the Ayatollah, in response to our threat of the strongest sanctions against them yet, pulling out of our deal, said this about America yesterday. This is a real quote. He said, “Like the famous cat in ‘Tom and Jerry,’ they will lose again.” I guess they just got Saturday morning cartoons over there? I love to imagine the Ayatollah watching “Tom and Jerry.” “Praise Allah, the accursed cat has been incinerated again!”
May 24: It is Fleet Week here in New York City, and our entire audience is filled with servicemen and women. This year is actually New York's 30th Fleet Week. So I want to wish an early happy 30th birthday to all those babies conceived during the first Fleet Week.
Everyone is excited about Fleet Week. All of New York will be applauding people in uniform, or as that's also known, the opposite of a Knicks game.
I heard that tomorrow night there's a Fleet Week booze cruise. I'm sure you all thought, "Sweet, it's my day off, can't wait to spend it on a boat."
This is exciting, we have Guy Fieri on the show tonight. Backstage we had an entire conversation before I realized I was just talking to the sunglasses on the back of his head.
Today President Trump announced that he is calling off his meeting with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. After he broke it off, Trump told him that he could have custody of Don Jr.
Disney World announced they are finally serving alcohol at every restaurant in the Magic Kingdom. Parents will say, "These giant teacups are spinning too fast," and the kids will be like, "We are not even on the ride yet."
It's only been a week but I guess Disney is already thinking about changing their slogan. It used to be "The Happiest Place on Earth." Now they are considering new slogans, like "Disney World: When You Wish Upon a Bar." Next, there's "Disney World: Watch Elsa Do the Walk of Shame." Then there's "Disney World: Sleep It Off in the Hall of Presidents." Then there's "Disney World: Official Home of the $40 Bud Light." And finally, "Disney World: Donald Duck Won't Be the Only One Without Pants."
May 24: President Trump today sent a letter to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, canceling their upcoming meeting. So let me just get this straight, you sent a dictator a letter, but used Twitter to fire most of your staff? How did you break up with your wives — billboards?
In an interview on “Fox & Friends,” President Trump said that NFL players who kneel for the anthem “shouldn’t be playing.” “Um, actually no one should be,” said doctors.
The new season of “The Bachelorette” begins on Monday. Where the bachelorette must choose between 28 strains of HPV.
The Human Rights Campaign this weekend projected messages on the Department of Education headquarters asking Secretary Betsy DeVos how she sleeps at night. Said DeVos, “Same as everyone! Hold my breath till I pass out!”
President Trump canceled next month's peace talks with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un. Now this has been going on for some time. First the meeting was on and now it's off. Then it was back on. I can't handle this tension! Trump and Kim Jong Un are like the new Ross and Rachel.
Trump canceled the meeting with North Korea over their “tremendous anger and open hostility," which is ironic considering “tremendous anger and open hostility" is Trump's 2020 campaign slogan.
In his letter, Trump bragged about America's nuclear arsenal but ended the letter by writing, "If you change your mind, please do not hesitate to call me or write." Which feels like a bit of a mixed message. Trump's like, "I can wipe your country out with a level of nuclear force you can't even comprehend... but I'm here for you if you need to talk."
The NFL announced a new policy yesterday requiring players who are on the field to stand during the national anthem. This morning President Trump said, “You have to stand proudly for the national anthem. Or you shouldn't be playing. You shouldn't be there. Maybe you shouldn't be in the country.” Is he suggesting that people should be kicked out of the country because they're voicing their opinions? This all started with players protesting police brutality and now, two years later, Trump is suggesting maybe they shouldn't live in the country. He's basically gone from kicking brown people out of the country to kicking out the Cleveland Browns.
Meanwhile, Trump is OK with the rest of us using the national anthem to go use the bathroom without waiting in a 40-minute line.
A new article revealed that members of the U.S. Air Force in Wyoming took LSD and had acid trips while they were assigned to guard nuclear missiles. Is it me or does it feel like Donald Trump definitely picked the wrong day to brag about America's nuclear capabilities?
Imagine having that confidence to do LSD while guarding nuclear weapons. When I was 18, I didn't even feel comfortable enough to smoke pot before I went to work at a pizzeria. I mean, I found a way, and let me tell you, if you work at a pizzeria and you like smoking pot, those two work brilliantly together.
It's nice to know that if Donald Trump ever does try to start a war, the guys responsible for the missiles won't be able to push the buttons because they'll be too busy swatting away purple dragons.
WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE
Click HERE for what’s new.
THE LIGHTER SIDE AND OTHER ODDS AND ENDS
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We know that 76-year-old Chubby Checker didn’t make the top of the chart with “Let’s Twist Again” until long after Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy strutted their stuff on the silver screen, but THIS clip from Joe Suske proves that the comedy duo from yesteryear had some happy feet anyway. (1:12)
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This is a very impressive inspection that took place in view of several military veterans during the Changing of the Guard ceremony at the Arlington National Cemetery. Watch it by clicking HERE. (2:34)
Now HERE is what the first minute-and-a-half of the inspection sounded like to the onlookers. (1:26)
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A tip for you aviation enthusiasts: This clip is an example of the Allec Joshua IBay series of aircraft accident videos on YouTube of which there are literally dozens of cases from around the world. The producer uses animation as well as video of the aftermath of the incidents, and several of the videos also include original plane-to-tower communications. If you are interested, type or copy and paste “Allec Joshua IBay” into the YouTube search field, then subscribe to his channel. To watch this clip of an incident involving a Southwest 737, click HERE. (4:29)
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A terrible tragedy occurred in Dubai when a catapult launch for a distance record went bad. Watch THIS short clip received from Gary Johnson if you dare. (0:24)
To no one’s surprise, this turned out to be a ha-ha ad. HERE is what the clip looked like when it aired in the Middle East. (0:45)
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Here are a couple of short videos from Stanley Roberts of the People Behaving Badly series on KRON Channel 4. The FIRST CLIP (3:25) is about HOV lane violators while the SECOND VIDEO (3:00) is about the misuse of handicap placards at Sonoma Raceway during a NASCAR race. (How embarrassing for the Border Patrol cop who tried to use a placard that wasn’t his, then failed to get into the handicap lot using his buzzer.)
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The reference to a dog named Everest at the beginning of this clip refers to an earlier rescue in which Everest eventually wound up in a forever home in Oregon. THIS is the story of a Golden Retriever and an Akita — Fuji and Tai — two homeless dogs that were rescued after a team effort by Eldad, Loreta and some local residents named Jacqueline and Janet. (6:49)
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This is the story of Rosie, whose rescue along with her five babies is virtually guaranteed to touch your heart. Click HERE and see if it does. (7:40)
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This rescue resulted in Lisa receiving a bite from the senior dog they named Dorothy. But as the title says, Dorothy made an incredible transformation. Have a LOOK. (11:04)
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The simple act of standing at attention in the rain when a funeral procession passes by was captured on video and subsequently went viral on the Internet. Click HERE to watch it. (1:55)
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The title of this short clip reads: “98-Year-Old World War II Vet Tears Up When Navy Sailors Surprise Him With Song.” And that is exactly what you will see if you click HERE. (1:24)
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It’s a shame we didn’t have dash cams back in the day that could record full audio during traffic stops like THIS one by a South Orange (NJ) traffic cop. Raise your hand if you agree. (4:08)
(DAMN, those are a lot of hands!)
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It’s not much of a surprise that THIS half-minute ad received from Lumpy was limited to the Internet and didn’t receive any air time on TV. At least not here in the US. (0:30)
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About that NFL ruling...
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Here is more insanity by a select group of young people we call the “21st Century Crazies.” The clip is called the World’s Largest Urban Zipline, but that’s a misnomer because no one rides it to the end. Watch THIS and you will see why. (2:48)
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Is it worth 17 seconds of your time to watch THIS clip about a topless blonde on a beach for the second time in two years? Dirk Parsons thinks so. (0:17)
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If it was up to us, we would call this guy who performed on “Showtime at the Apollo” the Human Spider. We shudder to think what ROSEANNE might call him. (2:16)
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For this week’s closer we thought we would return to the Antwerp Central Train Station in Belgium, scene of the first flash mob that made it onto YouTube with folks dancing to Do Re Mi from the Sound of Music. This time the travelers in the huge train station were treated to a flash mob dancing to the hit musical “Grease.” Click HERE, sit back and enjoy. (4:13)
And if you are one of the 5 or 6 Farsider subscribers who somehow missed seeing the historic Do Re Mi flashmob at the Antwerp train station that we have run on three or four occasions over the past ten years, you can watch it by clicking HERE. This is the one that started the flash mob craze back in 2010. (4:14)
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Until next week…
Pic of the Week
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Allen, Chaplain Bryan
Alvarez, Pat (Campbell)
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Bray, Mary Ellen
Bridgen, Betty Ruth
Brown Jr., Bill
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Carr Jr., John
Carrillo, Jaci Cordes
Clark, Bill (the one who stayed)
Embry (Howsmon), Eva
Foulkes [Duchon], Louise
Gonzalez, D. (formerly D. Avila)
Guido, Jr., Jim
Guido, Sr. Jim
Hare, Caren (Carlisle)
Harnish, Mary (Craven)
Horton, Debbie (McIntyre)
Howsmon, (Jr.) Frank
Howsmon (Sr.), Frank
Hunter, Dick (via daughter Kim Mindling)
Inami, Steve & Francine
Johnson, Tom & Fran
Klein, Lou Anna
Leonard (Lintern), Lynda
Muldrow, Mark "Mo"
O'Carroll, Diane (Azzarello)
Perry (Cervantez), Martha
Rappe (Ryman), Bonnie
Reyes (Buell), Cindy
Schenini (Alvarez), Joanne
Taves, Phil & Paula
Terry, Glenn & Maggie
Vallecilla, Ernie & Peggy
Van Dyck, Lois
Williams [Durham], Lanette
Windisch Jr., Steve