January 15, 2015
Bill Mattos, Editor and Publisher
Leroy Pyle, Webmaster
The Farsider is an independent publication that is not
affiliated with the San Jose Police Benevolent
Assn. The SJPBA has allowed the Farsider to be included on its web site solely
for the convenience
of the retired San Jose Police community. The content of this newsletter does
not represent or reflect
the views of the San Jose Police Benevolent Association's Board of Directors or
P.B.A. MEETS NEXT WEDNESDAY, JAN. 21st
Bar opens at 5:00
Dinner at 6:00 or thereabouts
ANNOUNCING THE P.B.A. VALENTINE'S DAY DINNER DANCE
Feb. 14th — 5:00 to 11:00 p.m.
1151 N. Fourth St.
Your choice of Salmon and/or Prime Rib
and Wine on the Tables
your kind of music following dinner
person — $50 per couple
payable to the "SJPBA" and mail to:
P.O. Box 42
check to Lumpy at next week's (Jan. 21st) PBA Meeting
E-mail PBA President Dave Wysuph at
Secretary/Treasurer Lumpy Lundberg at
the links below to watch and read…
NBC Bay Area: “We Are in Big Trouble” — Understaffed
San Jose Police Dept. Sees Low Number of Academy
~ ~ ~
NBC Bay Area: “It Really is Painful” — Dwindling SJPD
Staff May Shift Homicide Detectives to Street Patrol.
~ ~ ~
KPIX Channel 5: San Jose Neighborhood Fed Up with
Burglaries; Residents Pay $40 a Month for Private
THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF THE CITY AND SJPD
How effective can "reaching out" be when so much blood
has been spilled on the political battlefield? Just
is Reaching Out; Who’s Next?
Mercury News — Jan. 13, 2015
Mayor Sam Liccardo is reaching out to political
opponents on the City Council, in labor unions and other
constituencies that supported his opponent, Dave Cortese.
It’s time to meet him halfway. Or even a third of the
way. Maybe a 10th? So far it’s been pretty much zero.
Liccardo had a rough start last month, before he was
sworn in, and some of that was of his own making. But
labor interests who bitterly opposed his election act as
though he’s done nothing to bridge the divide. Liccardo
is like his predecessor, Chuck Reed, in that he’s
committed to financial stability and he’s capable of
But he’s making it clear he wants a more inclusive and
Among his transition advisers, Liccardo included not
only supporters but also Cortese backers who represent
important community interests.
He has met with representatives of all city unions,
including police and fire, to try to establish
relationships. He offered to come talk with their
He has tried to open communication with Ben Field, head
of the South Bay Labor Council, which coordinated a —
oh, let’s just say passionate — independent expenditure
campaign against him.
He invited police and fire unions to resume negotiations
immediately to resolve the deep conflicts over
voter-approved Measure B pension reform.
He has appointed council members who don’t support him,
such as Ash Kalra and Don Rocha, to chair committees.
This is highly unusual. Even second-term mayors rarely
appoint opponents to powerful chairmanships.
More symbolically, Liccardo’s inauguration event and
speech last Tuesday celebrated the diversity of the
city, raised aspirations and invited residents to
participate in solving city problems. Then on Friday he
announced that instead of a downtown State of the City
event on a weeknight, this year’s will be a community
affair on a Saturday morning, 10 a.m. March 14, at
Independence High School in East San Jose so families
How have opponents responded? As if the campaign hasn’t
The police union has refused to resume negotiations on
Measure B until next summer. Leaders blame Liccardo
actions, such as pushing out City Manager Ed Shikada,
whom they saw as an ally.
But the longer talks are delayed, the worse it will be
for the community — and for officers who, despite the
union’s best efforts, have not left. While voters would
have to approve it, an agreement would allow the city to
Then there’s Rocha, the only council member who didn’t
attend the inauguration. In a lengthy memo, he seized on
a technical glitch and vilified Liccardo’s plan for
larger council committees as an evil attempt to suppress
debate. The problem was easily remedied.
The election is over. It’s a new year, and there’s a new
mayor. Can’t we at least try to make a fresh start?
I’ve been reading the Farsider for years and have
noticed that you sometimes try to prompt readers to
write in. It has been my intention to do that, but I
always wound up waiting to see who else will take you up
on your invitation. This week is different. There are a
few things I want to get off my mind. Perhaps it will
get some other readers off their butts and motivate them
to generate some input. I don’t want you and Leroy to
think you are talking to an empty auditorium each week.
My first comment is about the French police. One of the
early reports I heard about the massacre in Paris was
that neither the cop who was assigned security in the
office or the wounded Muslim officer who was
assassinated on the sidewalk outside were armed. This
was also the case of the female cop who was shot and
killed while she was investigating a traffic accident a
little later. If true, why isn’t the fact that they were
unarmed pointed out by the media? Because of the liberal
bent of the mainstream media in our country I have my
suspicions that it doesn't want to admit that a firearm
could have possibly saved one or more of their lives.
I also question why the media — even Fox News — refused
to show the full, uncensored video of the wounded Muslim
cop who was shot and killed. It’s not like it has been
banned on the Internet.
second topic is about Retired General David Petraeus and
Eric Holder’s threat to prosecute him for releasing
classified information to his mistress Paula Broadwell,
who was a Lt. Col. and had her own security clearance.
Despite his fall from grace due to the affair, Petraeus
is among a handful of the only heroes our country has
turned out over the past 20 years in my opinion. So why
would Holder threaten to prosecute him? I’m not big on
conspiracies, but could the intent be to ensure that
Petraeus keeps his mouth shut about Benghazi? He was,
after all, the head of the CIA with the facility was
Perhaps others are curious about these and other things
that are going on with our dysfunctional government and
will write in with their opinion. In the meantime, I
would like to use the nom de plume below.
Thanks, Bill. You and Leroy do a great job of keeping us
informed. Don’t stop.
You make some interesting points, TP, but I’m not going
to brace myself for a flurry of reader responses. I’ve
gotten to know them pretty well over the past several
years, and it seems that the vast majority of them are
only verbose when they are talking one-on-one or with a
small group of friends. The thought of expressing their
views in front of an audience of more than a thousand
people gives most of them the willies. But thanks for
writing in and trying to stir the pot.
As for the issue about French cops being unarmed, I
spent 20 minutes on Google and looked at 15-20 websites
trying to determine if the three officers — or any
combination thereof — were armed or not. No luck, but I
do recall hearing on the news not long after the initial
shooting that the victim officers were unarmed. I also
read on several sites that France's gun control laws are
very strict, not unlike the UK's. An example is the item
This article from the Examiner.com website provides some
insight into the French and the issue of guns. It also
explains why I am not a fan of Liam Neeson, the
Irish-born actor who starred in Taken, Taken 2 and the
newly released Taken 3. In my opinion, actors who make
their living killing people with guns on the big silver
screen, then use their celebrity status to actively
support gun control are hypocrites.
Liam Neeson on Paris Attack: Americans Have Too Many
Examiner.com — Jan. 12, 2015
HERE for the Web article
standing in front of a poster of himself brandishing a
firearm in "Taken 3," actor Liam Neeson offered
condolences for the victims of the recent terror attacks
in Paris, then launched into a profanity-laced tirade
against gun ownership in the United States,
Breitbart.com reported Monday, citing Gulfnews.com.
According to Neeson, gun ownership in America is "a
"First off, my thoughts and prayers and my heart are
with the deceased, and certainly with all of France,
yesterday," he said. "I’ve got a lot of dear friends in
Paris.” He then reportedly linked the attack to gun
ownership in America.
“There’s too many (expletive deleted) guns out there,”
he said. “Especially in America. I think the population
is like, 320 million? There’s over 300 million guns.
Privately owned, in America. I think it’s a (expletive
deleted) disgrace. Every week now we’re picking up a
newspaper and seeing, ‘Yet another few kids have been
killed in schools.’”
"Let’s not get into it," he added when asked if the
issue extends to police responsibility. "Let’s put it
this way: I think a light has been shone on the justice
system in America, and it’s a justifiable light.”
Breitbart's AWR Hawkins said Neeson apparently
overlooked the fact that France is "rich in gun
control," but all of the country's laws were unable to
stop the brutal killings in Paris.
Initially, reports said, French officers responding to
the scene of the attack were forced to retreat because
they were unarmed. Officers in Paris are given the
option to carry firearms, TPNN said, but many apparently
The Washington Post said that unlike the United States,
French citizens do not have a right to keep and bear
arms. Those wishing to own guns must obtain a hunting or
sporting license that must be repeatedly renewed and
requires a psychological evaluation. Weapons like those
carried by the Charlie Hebdo attackers are highly
restricted and those wishing to purchase them must
undergo extremely stringent background checks, the Post
Despite having severe restrictions on guns, French
authorities believe there are some 7.5 million illegal
weapons in circulation. According to estimates, the
number of illegal guns is more than twice that of legal
firearms in the country, and military-grade Kalashnikovs
have been flooding into France for some time.
Neeson, a supporter of gun control, said his portrayal
of trigger-happy Bryan Mills does not encourage others
to buy guns or engage in violence. "I didn’t end up a
killer," he said, noting that he grew up watching cowboy
movies and enjoyed making gun gestures with his hands.
“A character like Bryan Mills going out with guns and
taking revenge: it’s fantasy," he added. "It’s in the
movies, you know? I think it can give people a great
release from stresses in life and all the rest of it,
you know what I mean? It doesn’t mean they’re all going
to go out and go, ‘Yeah, let’s get a gun!’"
HERE for the Wikipedia entry on Liam Neeson.
THIS HEADLINE FROM LAST FRIDAY’S PAPER WAS NOT A
If the Dept. was to terminate Officer Phillip White —
who is still on paid administrative leave — the
consensus of opinion from other retired cops I have
spoke with is that he would sue to get his job back —
and win. As for the D.A. refusing to prosecute him, it's
difficult to bring charges against an individual when
there is no victim.
Charges for Tweeting Cop
still in jeopardy for officer who’s anti-protest
messages sparked debate—
Salonga and Tracey Kaplan — Staff writers
News — Jan. 9, 2015
— The Santa Clara County District Attorney’s Office said
Thursday that no criminal charges are warranted against
a San Jose police officer whose combative anti-protest
tweets drew wide scorn amid a heated national
conversation over police-community relationships. While
cleared of criminal conduct, the police career of
Officer Phillip White, a 20-year SJPD veteran, remains
in jeopardy. He has been on paid administrative leave
since a series of his tweets surfaced on the Buzzfeed
website in mid-December.
The most inflammatory tweets read, “Threaten me or my
family and I will use my God given and law appointed
right and duty to kill you. #CopsLivesMatter” and “By
the way if anyone feels they can’t breathe or their
lives matter I’ll be at the movies tonight, off duty,
carrying my gun.”
But the DA’s office determined the social-media posts
did not constitute criminal threats or any other crime
for which they could file charges, primarily because
prosecutors could not pinpoint anyone who felt
specifically threatened, including those who engaged
with White on Twitter.
“The officer’s tweets were inappropriate and
unprofessional,” District Attorney Jeff Rosen said in a
statement. “Communicating something disturbing is not a
crime, unless it is an intentional and
specifically-aimed threat. Civil communication between
the police and members of the public is important in
establishing and maintaining trust.”
White could not be immediately reached for comment.
experts told this newspaper in December that free-speech
protections would likely shield White from any criminal
penalties, but would not preclude him from discipline or
termination if police commanders decided his
effectiveness as a police officer was diminished,
particularly in earning community trust.
Both police brass and the police union denounced the
comments, which spurred an online petition as well as a
local march led by area social-justice groups calling
for White’s firing. An internal investigation continues
into the tweets as well as White’s future with SJPD.
Prosecutors on Thursday also revealed new details about
what White may have been responding to when he posted
the infamous tweets. The officer made earlier posts
criticizing protesters that drew angry responses on his
Twitter feed, many of which came while White was out of
town working as an assistant basketball coach for Menlo
College, said Luis Ramos, the supervising district
attorney who reviewed White’s case.
That included a message urging him to call his campus
line, where White found a voice mail saying, “Hey you
little (expletive), you should really be careful who you
talk (expletive) on Twitter, punk. Don’t think I won’t
(expletive) show up either,’’ implying he knew where the
officer lived, Ramos said. Menlo Park police
investigated that call, but Ramos said an officer there
“seemed to think it was going nowhere.’’
Amid the controversy, Menlo College cut ties with White,
issuing a statement saying the school “will not be
represented by expressions of intolerance and bigotry on
the campus, on social media, or on the Internet.” While
his case is examined, White cannot carry a concealed
firearm, since a routine condition of administrative
leave is that he must surrender the badge and police ID
that allowed him to carry a weapon off duty without
needing a concealed-carry permit from the county.
Demonstrators have been protesting what they view as
widespread racial injustice by law enforcement, in the
wake of grand juries declining to indict white officers
in the deaths of African-Americans Michael Brown in
Ferguson, Missouri, and Eric Garner in Staten Island,
New York. Garner’s last words — “I can’t breathe” — have
become a rallying cry, and #BlackLivesMatter now is a
common social-media hashtag.
Police across the country have pushed back, criticizing
fringe movements that have advocated violence against
officers. In the Bay Area, the police unions in San
Jose, San Francisco and Oakland — where anti-police
demonstrations were a nightly fixture for much of
December — issued a joint statement last month calling
for constructive dialogue rather than the vilification
IT WASN’T EASY, BUT WE MANAGED TO FIND SOME GOOD NEWS
Peyton Manning and his team may have lost to
Indianapolis last weekend, but the legendary quarterback
is still a winner in the eyes of many. We went fishing
for some good news for this week's Farsider by dropping
our line in the Google pond and pulled this out of the
Wife’s Letter to Broncos QB Peyton Manning Ends Up With
a Startling Call From Police
Right Wing News
celebrities will do nice things for veterans, like help
arrange a homecoming surprise or set up a meeting. But
not many will spend three months hunting down a military
family in order to give the service member a chance to
meet his idol — but what’s what Denver Broncos
quarterback Peyton Manning did after receiving a letter
from military wife Kristen Patteron.
Legendary quarterback Peyton Manning no doubt receives
stacks of fan mail every day. Recently, however, one
letter from an Alaska woman got his attention, and led
to a call from the police — and an incredible
Kristen Patterson grew up in Indiana, a state where
Manning used to play football with the Indianapolis
Colts. Both the woman and her husband, Army Sgt. Ryan
Patterson, are major fans of the NFL star.
When Kristen asked Manning to simply say “hello” to her
veteran husband, she had no idea that he would even open
the letter. What actually happened shocked her: She
received a call from the Alaska State Troopers, who were
trying to locate her on behalf of Peyton Manning.
“When I got a call from (an Alaska) State Trooper they
asked if I wrote a letter to Peyton Manning,” Patterson
said, according to 9News. It turns out that Manning
wanted to meet with her and her husband, but couldn’t
That letter had apparently made a big impression on the
star, who now plays for the Denver Broncos.
When the police called Kristen, she was understandably
confused about the call. However, the police explained
that Manning had arranged the call in order to keep it a
secret from Sgt. Patterson.
In her enthusiasm about writing the letter to the
quarterback, Kristen Patterson had neglected to include
her phone number or other contact information.
Amazingly, Peyton Manning gave his personal assistants
the task of tracking her down… all the way to Alaska.
According to Mad World News, both Kristen Patterson and
Peyton Manning were able to keep the meeting secret
until the day before the Bengals vs. Broncos football
The veteran of Afghanistan was clearly excited to meet
the star player, but assumed that it would be an
impersonal group interaction in the hotel lobby. Then
Peyton Manning surprised the Patterson’s again: They
were escorted to a private conference room for a
one-on-one meeting with the famous quarterback.
When Manning arrived, he personally thanked Sgt.
Patterson for his military service. “He seemed genuinely
tickled that we lived in North Pole, Alaska. He said,
‘You guys are really hard to find,’” Ryan Patterson
“(Kristen) enjoyed the fact that she is the greatest
wife ever and there was nothing I could ever do to top
this,” the solider explained. “If you asked me who is
the one person, anybody in the world, I want to meet, I
would immediately say Peyton Manning and she made that
It’s always nice to see celebrities going out of their
way to do something good, especially when it’s for
people like the Pattersons who sacrifice for this
country. Manning could have given up and done something
else for another fan, that didn’t require so much work
and effort, but instead he stuck it through and gave
this soldier a great moment — he deserves every bit of
positive publicity he gets for that.
Unskilled Workers Report for New Jobs
(The Borowitz Report) — Sixty-four unskilled workers
will report to new jobs in Washington, D.C. on Tuesday
as part of a federal jobs program that provides
employment for people unable to find productive work
The new hires, who have no talents or abilities that
would make them employable in most workplaces, will be
earning a first-year salary of $174,000.
For that sum, the new employees will be expected to work
a hundred and thirty-seven days a year, leaving them
with two hundred and twenty-eight days of vacation.
Some critics have blasted the federal jobs program as
too expensive, noting that the workers were chosen last
November in a bloated and wasteful selection process
that cost the nation nearly four billion dollars.
But Davis Logsdon, a University of Minnesota economics
professor who specializes in labor issues, said that the
program is necessary to provide work “for people who
honestly cannot find employment anywhere else.”
“Expensive as this program is, it is much better to have
these people in jobs than out on the street,” he said.
CRIA TRAINING CONFERENCE SCHEDULED FOR FEB. 3 IN VEGAS
43rd Annual Training Conference Las Vegas, Nevada
3rd – 5th, 2015
Hotel & Casino, 3475 Las Vegas Blvd., Las Vegas, NV
conference is POST accredited for annual training points
and tax deductible as law enforcement training. Go to
the new CRIA website for complete information and easy
Improved Website at <www.robberycria.com>
Jack Baxter at
<firstname.lastname@example.org> for more info.
THE BEST OF THE LATE NITE JOKES
Jan. 7 -
President Obama met with the president of Mexico. When
asked what it's like to govern 100 million Mexican
people, Obama said, "It can be challenging."
Some more news out of Washington. During a recent
interview, a White House adviser said Joe Biden is the
reason President Obama got elected both times. Then he
said, “He's also the reason we got banned from
Congrats to former President George H.W. Bush and his
wife Barbara, who celebrated their 70th wedding
anniversary yesterday, and it's actually the longest
presidential marriage since John Adams. Or as Barbara
calls Adams, "my first love."
Some areas near Dallas experienced a 3.5-magnitude
earthquake, which some blame on fracking. However,
scientists say that it was more likely aftershocks from
Chris Christie celebrating at the Cowboys game.
Potential presidential candidate Jeb Bush will release a
decade’s worth of tax returns to avoid comparisons to
Mitt Romney. Yeah, they’re nothing alike. They’re just
both former governors from wealthy families whose
parents gave them super-weird names.
Hillary Clinton is the leading presidential contender
for the Democrats. Former Clinton aide John Podesta said
Hillary will highlight her differences with President
Obama if she runs. The biggest difference: Hillary is
still interested in being president.
According to a new study, people with certain names tend
to work in the same profession. Many women named Susan
are hairdressers. Women named Janet tend to be
scientists. Guys named Bobby are race-car drivers,
Eleanor for librarians, and apparently, Jimmy for
This week hackers stole over $5 million in bitcoins from
a Slovenia-based bitcoin exchange. If it’s not safe to
keep your money in a Slovenian bitcoin exchange, where
CAN you keep your money?
President Obama posted a video on Facebook yesterday
announcing his plan to make the first two years of
community college free. Unfortunately he was interrupted
when Biden got confused and threw a bucket of ice water
on his head.
Former Arkansas governor and potential 2016 candidate
Mike Huckabee is releasing his 12th book later this
month called, “God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy.” The
craziest part: that's just his favorite aisle at
Macy’s may create a discount clothing chain similar to
T.J. Maxx. Meanwhile, J.C. Penney will continue
operating out of an unmarked van.
Macy's is interested in creating discount clothing
stores similar to T.J. Maxx. It'll be great for
customers who love the style of Macy's, but prefer all
that clothing thrown on the ground.
Donald Trump said he is thinking very seriously about a
2016 presidential campaign. You can tell he's serious.
Today I saw him shaking hands and firing babies.
Mitt Romney says he is considering a third campaign for
the presidency. He made the announcement during a
private meeting with donors. It’s pretty shocking, you
know, that Mitt Romney needs donors. I mean, what are
these guys, trillionaires?
The film “Boyhood” won the Golden Globe for best drama.
It follows one guy's journey over the course of 12 years
— or as Mitt Romney calls that, “running for president.”
Days after Mitt Romney announced he is considering a
2016 presidential campaign, his former running mate Paul
Ryan announced that he will not run. Ryan won't say who
he'll support. He just wants the best man for the
Jeb...Job, I mean job.
Fifteen states across the country have gas prices that
have dipped below $2. That means it’s now cheaper to buy
a gallon of liquefied dinosaurs than one cup of coffee
Virgin Media is developing a 3-D printed wristband that
can sense when the user is falling asleep and record
whatever they are watching on TV. You know, so that way,
you can catch up on everything that bored you to sleep.
New research suggests that men who regularly post
selfies are more likely to have psychopathic tendencies.
While women who regularly post selfies are more likely
to be a Kardashian.
According to a new report that just came out, the
average college freshman reads at a seventh grade level.
Or if you're an optimist every seventh grader now reads
at a college freshman level.
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015.
Yeah. Here's the bad news. You just wasted it listening
to this joke.
This is really hard to do but I'd like to change the
tone now and briefly mention today's terrible tragedy in
France. Twelve people were killed because a satirical
newspaper made jokes that some group found offensive.
All of us are accustomed to bad news from around the
world. But this story hits home for anybody who mocks
Today's tragedy in Paris reminds us very viscerally that
it's a right that some people are inexplicably forced to
die for. So it's very important tonight that I express
that everybody who works at our comedy show, all of us
are terribly sad for the families and people of France
and anybody in the world tonight who now has to think
twice before making a joke. It's not the way it's
supposed to be.
Today, Angelina Jolie met with Pope Francis at the
Vatican. Long story short: She adopted him.
California's 74-year-old Senator Barbara Boxer announced
she will not run for re-election in 2016. When I saw the
headline "74-Year-Old Boxer," I assumed they were making
another "Rocky" movie.
Bill Gates released a video of himself drinking water
that was filtered from human excrement. No word yet on
whether Gates got into the fraternity.
Did you see the Golden Globes? Tina Fey and Amy Poehler
were hilarious. They made jokes about Bill Cosby. And to
show there were no hard feelings, today Cosby offered to
buy each of them a drink.
The top movie at the box office this weekend was "Taken
3." In "Taken 3" movie audiences are held hostage by a
plot hijacked from "Taken 2."
Nike announced that this year it will sell self-lacing
tennis shoes. By the way, if you're too lazy to lace up
your tennis shoes you're really going to hate tennis.
A Saudi Arabian prince has said that oil may never again
rise above $100 a barrel. He said it's gotten so bad he
can't afford to buy his wife her own car that she's not
allowed to drive.
A new Republican Congress is taking over. Sen. Ted Cruz
has been appointed to overseeing NASA in Congress. He
says he wants NASA to focus on finding aliens so he can
Republican Mike Huckabee criticized the Obamas for
letting their daughters listen to Beyoncé due to her
explicit lyrics. So now the Obama girls are faced with
the tough choice every teen must eventually make —
listen to Beyoncé or Mike Huckabee.
A congressman from Texas sent out a tweet comparing
President Obama to Hitler. That is ridiculous because at
this point in his career Hitler had a much higher
An NFL player was arrested in Florida on gun charges.
The news was shocking to anyone who knows nothing about
the NFL or Florida.
New York City, it's cold. It's so cold the Republicans
want to use the Keystone Pipeline to deliver soup.
On the TV this morning the weatherman said to dress warm
if you're going outside. If you need a TV weatherman to
remind you to dress warm, you've got bigger problems
than the cold weather.
Paul Revere had a time capsule. They opened it up after
a couple of hundred years, and guess what they found? A
stack of love letters from Barbara Walters.
They found O.J. Simpson's long-lost Heisman Trophy. So
we can all sleep better tonight. No word on the
long-lost murder weapon.
Donald Trump is on the show tonight. Donald is a big
man, I think 230 pounds — 235 with cologne.
Donald's on the show tonight to announce another phony
run for the presidency.
If Trump is elected, he will be the first president with
a beauty pageant.
Happy birthday to evil North Korean dictator Kim Jong
Un. He gathered family and friends together and
celebrated by executing a few close friends.
According to a new study, a nap at work is healthy. A
nap at work is healthy. Call me when it's healthy to
drink at work.
A 30-minute nap, they say, will make you fresh and alert
when you're fired.
Sunday is the Golden Globe Awards. It's always fun to
see millionaire celebrities eating free dinners.
Meryl Streep is nominated for her incredible portrayal
as James Brown.
Did you folks enjoy the Golden Globes last night? Help
me out with something. Are the Golden Globes an
indicator, a predictor, or a precursor of the Academy
Last night, the Golden Globes presented George Clooney
with a lifetime achievement award. I have never received
a Golden Globe but I did receive a special award from
the Golden Corral people.
And how about Jennifer Lopez in that dress at the Golden
Globes? The referees ruled it incomplete.
A guy had a job and it turned out he didn't show up for
25 years. Finally, his boss discovered he wasn't showing
up and fired him. So let this be a lesson to you kids
out there. If you don't go to work for 25 years, you're
gonna get fired.
Paul Ryan announced that after a lot of thought, and
talking it over with family and friends, that he is not
going to run for president in 2016. I'm telling you,
this announcement sent shock waves through no one.
Congratulations to Ohio State, your new college football
champions. Coach Urban Meyer may be the greatest
football coach of all time. Don't confuse him with New
York Mayor Bill de Blasio. That's urban quagmire.
Fifteen years ago tomorrow I had open heart surgery, a
quintuple bypass surgery. Thanks to all of my doctors.
Because of them, in 15 years of life I've been able to
experience, well, acid reflux, short-term memory loss,
and erectile dysfunction. Thanks for all your work. It's
great to be alive.
What a day that was 15 years ago. I woke up and had to
swing by the hospital. I thought I was going in for a
routine face lift.
Vegas, the Consumer Electronics Show is going on. It
displays new technology that makes you already hate the
TV you bought two weeks ago for Christmas.
The Consumer Electronics Show included a Wi-Fi kettle,
which is a kettle that lets you boil water from anywhere
in your house. Gee, finally.
The Consumer Electronics Show also features high-tech
gadgets for pets. One device is a smart feeder, which
costs $250. That is a ridiculous amount to spend on a
dog bowl — unless your dog is a very, very good boy.
Another device lets you talk to your dog while you're at
work, and another monitors how many calories your dog
burns throughout the day. Do we need gadgets like this?
There's already a device that tells you how your dog is
feeling. It's called a tail.
The flu season is especially bad this season. Ground
zero for most disease is that electronic stylus attached
to the credit card swiper at stores. I'm not a germ
freak, but why would we all touch that thing? They are
filled with bacteria. They should store them in that
blue liquid they have at the barber shop.
You ever notice the only people still writing checks are
old people, and maybe that's why they are old. They are
living longer because they don't touch those disgusting
Today is the birthday of Elvis Presley and dictator Kim
Jong Un. Elvis would've been 80 today. Kim Jong Un is
either 32 or 33. They actually aren't sure. North Korean
scholars agree that when he entered the world a silver
eagle ascended and promised 1,000 years of prosperity
for his people. That should kick in any day now.
Last year Kim Jong Un had Dennis Rodman on hand to sing
to him. This year he had a low-key celebration. He spent
the day at home reading Sony's emails.
is warning New Yorkers about Chinese food after a major
Brooklyn distributor was found with rats and birds
nesting in boxes of ingredients. The distributor says
it's all a misunderstanding — those ARE the ingredients.
The next time you eat Chinese food, know that a bird
Tonight for the first time since November, Bill Cosby
returned to the stage for a show in Canada — because,
you know, in Canada pills are cheaper.
Bill Gates says he is a strong advocate of technology
that converts human feces into drinkable water. After he
drank it, he said he would happily drink it every day.
But remember, this is a guy who still uses a PC.
President Obama has issued three veto threats in just
two days. Meanwhile, Chris Christie has threatened four
Vitos, two Charlies, and a Doug.
New research shows that thousands of homes are robbed
every year because people hide their house keys in
obvious places. So make sure you hide them where no one
looks, like on your middle child.
Mitt Romney said he is considering a third presidential
bid. Romney said he got the idea from watching his dog
repeatedly run into an electric fence.
The Denver Post recently hosted a focus group discussing
the impact of marijuana legalization in Colorado. They
called it a “focus group,” because the host kept saying
“Come on, guys. Focus!”
Yesterday was New York’s 14th annual no-pants subway
ride. Of course, if you want to see a bunch of people
riding the subway without pants, today works too.
Ohio State beat Oregon 42-20. Police in Ohio had to use
tear gas on crowds after celebrations got too rowdy
following the game. Oregon fans, on the other hand, were
able to make their own tears.
Mitt Romney is reportedly putting his 2012 election team
back together. And somehow, miraculously, none of them
were busy with other stuff.
Fidel Castro, who hasn’t been publicly seen for more
than a year, wrote a personal letter referencing current
events to prove he is still alive. And nothing says “I’m
alive in 2015” like writing a letter.
Police are looking for a woman who stole $3,000 worth
of cat-grooming supplies at an airport baggage carousel.
Police describe the suspect as “single.”
WEEKLY SNOPES URBAN LEGEND UPDATE AS OF JAN. 10, 2015
The facts behind the legends, information and
misinformation that has or may show up in your inbox
FBI raided a pig brothel in Missouri.
• Spraying a mixture of vinegar and water on your car's
windshield will de-ice it.
• A bevy of
tax increases were quietly imposed upon Americans in
January 2015 due to the Affordable Care Act.
• For several years, Webster's New International
Dictionary mistakenly included an entry for a word
that did not exist.
• The government is planning to track the homeless by
implanting them with RFID chips.
'Doggies for Anthony' Facebook event requests photos
of dogs for 16-year-old leukemia patient Anthony Lyons.
• Half of all children will be diagnosed with
autism by 2025, due to the use of glyphosate on
Sarah Palin said that affirmative action, food
stamps, and athletic scholarships result in 'black
Sandy Hook victim Noah Pozner was pictured alongside
victims of a school massacre in Pakistan.
Fox News used a photo of Stephen A. Smith during
their tribute to Stuart Scott.
2-year-old boy who shot and killed his mother in a
WalMart store is going to be tried as an adult.
• Burger King created a fake 'discontinued'
sandwich from the 1970s for nostalgia purposes.
NFL referee Pete Morelli was paid $500,000 after
controversially reversing a penalty call during a
• Gang members are tampering with the lug nuts on tires
police officers and their supporters.
• EastEnders actor
Danny Dyer has died at the age of 37.
• McDonald's employee Bubba Conroy bragged on Twitter
spitting in white customers' food.
President Obama wore an "I Can't Breathe" shirt to
the swearing-in of Congress.
President Obama said that the "future must not
belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam" during
a speech in 2012.
• A "little
old lady" was arrested after she was caught using
neighborhood cats to make fur coats.
Michael Kors wrote on Twitter that he was "tired of
pretending to like blacks."
• Jaden Smith claims that
God told him to start a fashion line called 666.
• Students in Massachusetts were forced to recite an
Islamic conversion prayer.
• A ghost ship carrying
ebola-infected rats is heading toward Florida.
Kraft cheese will not melt, even when exposed to
• A leaked selfie depicts
Malia Obama wearing a rap collective's t-shirt.
Winston Churchill wrote about the "dreadful curses
of Mohammedanism" in his 1899 book The River Wars.
Malicious code is loaded onto computers via the
e-mailing of fraudulent court appearance notices.
• An illustration created in response to the 'Charlie
Hedbo' attack was drawn by graffiti artist Banksy.
• U.S. General John J. Pershing effectively
discouraged Muslim terrorists in the Philippines by
killing them burying and their bodies along with those
Dianne Feinstein said 'when the gunman realizes that
nobody else is armed, he will lay down his weapons and
turn himself in, that's human nature.'
• A North Carolina town was forced to remove a statue of
praying soldier from a public memorial.
• A cache of
orichalcum, a rare and ancient alloy, was discovered
off the coast of Sicily.
• A photograph shows a
UFO discovered at the bottom of the Baltic Sea.
Albert Einstein once switched places with his
• Don't forget to visit our
Daily Snopes page for a collection of odd news
stories from around the world!
Worth a Second Look
• Does it cost more than
one cent to manufacture a U.S. penny?
Still Haunting the Inbox
• Check out our 25
Hottest Urban Legends list to keep abreast of what's
circulating in the on-line world.
• Visit our
Top Scams page for a list of schemes commonly used
by crooks to separate the unwary from their money.
POLICE-RELATED ODDS AND ENDS
—Viewer discretion is advised—
or Full Screen recommended for YouTube videos.
• • • • •
Every cop’s nightmare is brought to life in the crystal
clear images of this video of a Billings, Montana
officer (Grant Morrison) immediately after he shoots and
kills a subject he thought was pulling a gun (he was
unarmed). It begins with a friend or supervisor (Brad
Ross) responding to the scene and continues as he tries
to console and provide support for Morrison who suffers
an emotional breakdown before he eventually regains his
composure. Also of possible interest are some of the
comments posted by viewers under the video.
THIS clip shows a side of the job that only cops can
relate to. (6:52)
The subject who was shot and killed was 38-year-old
Richard Ramirez. He was identified as a suspect in an
earlier armed 211 in which a 61-year-old victim was
HERE to listen to the 911 calls following the
THIS article from the Billings Gazette about the
Coroner’s jury’s ruling that the shooting was
justifiable homicide also includes dash cam footage of
how the shooting went down. (4:25)
• • • • •
Remember when police calls to North Jackson and a few
other areas of San Jose often required a “holding quad”
so we could respond en masse to the call for service?
Compared to the 750 “No-Go Zones” in Paris where cops
don’t respond at all, San Jose’s rough neighborhoods
were nothing by comparison. Nada. Zero. Zip. While this
CBN (Christian Broadcasting Network) news report may be
a little biased in support of Christianity, let’s hope
the multiculturalism problems plaguing France and
several other European nations doesn’t portend our
future here in the U.S. As Carm Grande said when he sent
THIS video, “OK, boys, keep ‘em clean, locked and
• • • • •
Speaking of keeping them “clean, locked and loaded,” it
wasn’t until Bert Kelsey watched
THIS clip that he realized he’d been gripping his
handgun in an improper manner over the past 60 years.
Watch and learn. (2:36)
• • • • •
Shoot or don’t shoot? Earl Eubanks — one of our
compadres from our tenure at the S/O back in the late
‘60s who concluded his L.E. career working for Tom
Brewer at the D.A.’s Office — sent us
THIS video about the experience of an activist who
had been critical of the Phoenix police. He then
accepted an offer from the Maricopa S/O to go through
three “shoot, don’t shoot” scenarios and underwent an
awakening. If one of the scenarios reminds you of the
Michael Brown incident in Ferguson, it’s not a
• • • • •
As a follow-up to the "Shoot, Don’t Shoot" scenarios
above, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio has invited Al
Sharpton to “Come on down.” Check
THIS out. (0:48)
HERE for a more detailed news report.
• • • • •
It’s difficult to tell who should have bought a lottery
ticket after this incident, the cop or the 17-year-old
who was armed with a BB gun. Maybe both of them
should have invested in a couple of tickets. Check out
THIS news report that was posted on YouTube last
HERE for more details regarding this incident.
• • • • •
Have an opinion about body cameras for cops? Watch
THIS video where a cop wearing a camera confronts a
10-66 in a neighborhood and see if it reinforces your
opinion, whatever it may be. Note that the audio doesn’t
begin until after the officer exits the car, and that
the footage stops after the camera receives a blow from
the subject’s shovel. The incident occurred in Salt Lake
City, and the suspect did not survive the confrontation.
HERE for a more detailed report of what happened.
• • • • •
Note to gun owners: Don’t applaud too loud over
THIS Gunny and Glock ad. If you do you might disturb
your neighbors. (2:07)
NOW WE’RE AT THE LIGHTER SIDE
or Full Screen recommended for YouTube videos.
• • • • •
For those of you with an interest in the history
HERE'S a website contribution from Les Nunes that
celebrated the 60th anniversary of Boeing’s 707 Dash 80
prototype that first showed up on airport tarmacs on
July 15, 1954.
• • • •
Next time you are having a bad day, Dirk Parsons and Don
Hale say you should watch this short video about William
Rankin, known as the “Man Who Rode the Thunder.” Watch
CLIP and you will see how that title relates to the
• • • • •
Who’s crazier, the rally fans or the drivers?
THIS video from last Dec. features some of the
closest calls, luckiest drivers and spectacular crashes
ever captured on video. (7:56)
• • • • •
Tip of the Week: Next time you are around a negative
person who does their best to rain on your parade, think
about this oldie but goodie received from Sharon
~ ~ ~
was at her hairdresser getting her hair styled for a
trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to
the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded
and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a
terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight
attendants are ugly, and they are always late. So, where
are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's
Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody
thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive,
but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to
see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. “You and a
million other people trying to see him. He'll look the
size of an ant up on the balcony. Boy, good luck on this
lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, when the woman returned to the
hairdresser to have her hair done, the hairdresser asked
her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were
we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but
it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class.
The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome
28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. The
hotel was great, too! They'd just finished a $5 million
remodeling job and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in
the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized
and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and
good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican
a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained
that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if
I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and
wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough,
five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and
shook my hand! As I knelt down, he spoke a few words to
"Oh, really! What did the Pope say?"
He said: "Who f--ked up your hair?"
• • • • •
Bruce Morton is of the opinion that you can’t call
yourself a “real fisherman” unless you have one of
THESE machines. (4:19)
• • • • •
At the ripe old age of 79 it’s unlikely that former rock
and roll star Jerry Lee Lewis can tickle the ivories
like he used to. (Yes, he's still alive.) But worry not,
Steve Hayes looks and sounds like a suitable
replacement. When he entered a hardware store in Ohio
last year and spotted an unfinished piano, he decided to
sit down and give a whole lot of shakin’. Check
THIS out. (2:49)
• • • • •
If you consider yourself a gearhead and/or a fan of
classic cars and/or want to see what has to be the
ultimate man cave, you are going to want to click
HERE. This place puts Jay Leno’s Garage to shame.
• • • • •
Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the
dryer for ten minutes and come out wrinkle free and
three sizes smaller?
Last year I joined a support group procrastinators. We
plan on meeting one of these days.
I don’t trip over things. I do random gravity checks.
When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment.
At my age today it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is, “I don’t need to write
that down, I’ll remember it.”
I don’t need anger management. I just need people to
stop pissing me off.
Lord grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot
change, the courage to change the things I can, and the
friends to post my bail when I finally snap.
I don’t have gray hair. I have “wisdom highlights” that
shows I am very wise.
My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance for
idiots that needs work.
Teach your daughter how to shoot because a restraining
order is just a piece of paper.
The kids text me “plz” which is shorter than “please.” I
text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”
I like my middle finger best because it always sticks up
I’m going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll
do the second week is anybody’s guess.
I’ve lost my mind and I’m pretty sure the kids took it.
Even duct tape can’t fix stupid. Best it can do is
muffle the sound.
Lord give me patience, and give it to me NOW.
Old age is definitely coming at a bad time.
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert
At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and
remembering what I came in there for.
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes
it a plant. And that means chocolate is salad.
Why do I have to press “1” for English when I’m going to
be transferred to someone I can’t understand anyway?
Oops, did I just roll my eyes out loud?
If God had wanted me to touch my toes he would have put
them on my knees.
• • • • •
It’s recess for the young Pandas, according to
THIS clip from Don Hale. That means it’s time to go
out in the yard and play on the slide. (1:27)
• • • • •
What you see below are 28,835 jelly beans. If you click
HERE to see what they represent you won’t regret it.
• • • • •
We first ran
THIS clip of a dog being teased by its owner about
three years ago. Here it is almost 36 months later and
it’s still going on. Bummer for the mutt. (1:20)
• • • • •
Titled “Indiana Bones and the Raiders of the Lost Bark,”
this short video Lumpy sent in is worth a look.
According to the description, “When his owner Zach
leaves for the afternoon, little Indiana Bones discovers
adventure in search of his lost bark.
THIS video was created with 3 rolls of duct tape,
108 glue sticks, 18 large boxes of cardboard, a few all
nighters with an adorable puppy.” (4:55)
• • • • •
If you think Houdini was king of the escape artists, you
THIS short video about Badgers we received from
Sharon Lansdowne. When it comes to intelligence, they
are at or near the top of the list. (4:11)
• • • • •
Want to be part of this crew as they clean the windows
on the tallest building in the world? If you are
uncomfortable with heights, the solution is to NOT look
down. Or to pass over the clip completely. To join them,
grab a squeegee and click on
THIS link sent in by Alice Murphy. (4:19)
• • • • •
And finally, Andre Rieu and his Johann Strauss Orchestra
have lots of fans, including Moi. The 65-year-old Dutch
conductor’s recently released DVD titled “Love in
Venice” is a little misleading as the concert actually
took place in his hometown of Maastricht in Holland; the
reference to Venice is based on the theme of the
to the male and female tenors who are regular members of
Rieu's orchestra, this particular concert included a
then-9-year-old (now 10) young lady by the name of Amira
Willighagen who has to be heard to be believed. Click
HERE and enjoy the little lady who is no doubt on
her way to become the next Sarah Brightman. (4:55)
• • • • •
PIC OF THE WEEK
unfair to say that the President was MIA at last
weekend's rally in Paris...
THE FARSIDER SUBSCRIPTION ROSTER as of 1/15/15
BONUS PIC OF THE WEEK
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Doug Grant — Added
Pete Salvi — Address change
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